


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

by Pishposh86



Category: Stucky Duh
Genre: Because I can, Because I wanted To Tag Sebastian Stan, Because Stucky, Carried Away Taggin Again, M/M, My brain, Ugh I Need To Stop, Who Doesn't Love Stucky, Why Can't I Quit You, don't you judge me, okay i'm done now
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:03:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 22,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pishposh86/pseuds/Pishposh86
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky And Steve Have been married for 4 years. The happiest years of their life...they can't get enough of each other. To be Honest they can't breath without each other. So what happens when Bucky gets into a horrible accident erasing every single memory he had. How will Steve take it...and well how do you make your husband fall in love with you all over again...when he doesn't even know your name?</p><p>*Yes damn it I saw The Vow last night...I had to...don't you dare judge me*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kiss Me Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Because Stucky

"You are just so damn stubborn? Why can't you just let someone else handle it. You can't keep running to work every time someone doesn't know what they are doing" Steve groaned out pulling Bucky back into bed.

Bucky chuckled "Because they need my help and besides I've been in the position Newman is in. I've been a newbie and when you have no one to help you it sucks"

"Ugh but today was supposed to be your day off. We had plans for dinner tonight" Steve whined crossing his arms like a child

"We can still do dinner. I'm only going in for a few hours" Bucky replied with a smile

"Fine...but you are totally making it up to me tonight" Steve replied with a smirk

"I think I can make that work" Bucky replied getting out of bed only to be pulled back down again

"Steve come on I got to go" Bucky replied a playful glare

"Okay okay. Plant one on me before you go" Steve said puckering his lips together

"Okay close your eyes. You are going to love this one" Bucky said seductively 

Steve sat there in anticipation. Only to hear the footsteps and the door closing. Steve opened his eyes to be met with the sight of an empty apartment. 

"Son of a bitch" Steve thought with a smirk

Not even five minuets after leaving the apartment and getting into his car Bucky's cell went off

"What gives Bucky" Steve mumbled on the other end

"What? If I would have kissed you...I would have never left that apartment and you know it." Bucky replied with a chuckle

Of course Bucky was right because there was nothing but silence on Steve's end

"Ugh I love being right. Look I promise I will make it for dinner tonight okay. Hopefully the coffee shop won't be to busy tonight given with the snow and everything. So I'll try my best to be out earlier. I love you okay...always" Bucky replied softly

"And forever" Steve finished with a smile

"Bye babe" Bucky whispered and then hung up

"Bye Buck" Steve whispered and he set his phone down and tried to go back to bed but who was he kidding he could never sleep properly without Bucky right beside him.

*Let's Take It Back To The Start*  
There was just something about him that he just couldn't get enough of. The way he spoke, the way he walked...shit even just the way he breathed made him go crazy. He was in love and he knew it. Only thing...did he feel the same way. Nothing left to do but to find out.

"Umm Bucky right" Steve whispered softly

"Who's asking" Bucky replied with a raised eyebrow

Steve felt his heart skip a beat just hearing him talk. Why did college have to be so awkward sometimes.

Steve couldn't find the words and just kept his gaze locked on the floor

"I'm just busting your balls. Yeah I'm Bucky" Bucky replied with a smile

Steve couldn't help but blush seeing that beautiful smile. Bucky noticed that and his smile grew bigger.

"Are you okay. You look red...kinda like your running a fever or something" Bucky asked concerned

"Now or never Rogers. You can do this" Steve whispered trying to mentally motivate himself

Blue eyes locked onto Steve and Steve swallowed loudly

"Listen I was wondering umm...umm if you would like to hang out sometime. I don't know like" Steve was cut off

"Like tonight. Sure sounds like fun" Bucky replied with a sly smile

"Are you serious" Steve asked in shock

"Are you?" Bucky asked with a wink

"Yes" Steve replied still in shock mouth agape 

"Well then yes" Bucky replied with a smile

Steve still stood there. He felt like he couldn't move.

"Your gonna catch a fly there pal" Bucky replied placing his hand under Steve's chin and closing his mouth softly

"Uhh umm" Steve couldn't talk

"Hmm. Your something else...tonight should be fun. Catch you later" Bucky replied as he waved goodbye and walked away

*Later on that day*  
"So how are you enjoying the college life" Bucky asked softly lifting his cup to take a sip of his soda

"The best I can I suppose. By the way my name is Steve" Steve replied softly

"I know. What you didn't think I knew your name. Stevie...I know everything about you" Bucky chuckled

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked confused

"Come on. I know that you like sports, I know that you can be a total nerd at times, and I know that you like me" Bucky replied with a smile

Steve all but choked on his soda "What did you just say?"

"Don't be embarrassed... I mean come on why else would you psych yourself out to ask me out today. Which by the way the faces you make to mentally motivate yourself are quite priceless" Bucky replied laughing

Steve was upset now. He didn't like being made fun of...and he felt right now like he was just a big joke. Steve didn't say a word and stood up and made his way towards the his dorm room door.

"Hey wait where are you going" Bucky said as he watched Steve walk out

Bucky followed Steve out the dorm halls and into the cold crisp air "Will you stop. Please"

Bucky was freezing but he continued to follow Steve until Steve stopped in front of the college library

"Listen it took a lot for me to ask you out and here you are making a joke of me. I'm not here for your entertainment alright. Ugh this was a huge mistake" Steve replied angrily

"Are you that dense" Bucky asked shaking his head trying to keep himself warm

Steve didn't respond.

"I know a lot about you Steve. Not to make fun of you...but well because I like you too. Who am I kidding I more than like you. That's why I know so much about you. Which you'd be surprised how much you can find out about someone around here just by asking. Ugh I hate to think what people say about me" Bucky replied biting on his lower lip

"You...you like me" Steve whispered in shock

Bucky smiled and walked up to Steve and pulled him in for a sweet kiss "Does that answer your question. You don't know how long I've been waiting for you to ask me out"

"Why didn't you say anything" Steve asked placing his hands on Bucky's waist

"Now where's the fun in that. Now shut up and kiss me again" Bucky whispered as he relished in the feeling of being kissed again

"Geez your freezing" Steve yelped feeling Bucky's nose on his

"Well no shit...it's only like 30 degrees out and snowing" Bucky replied with a cocked eyebrow

"Oh yeah...well let's get the hell out of here then" Steve replied lacing his hands with Bucky's as they made their way back to the dorms

After that day back in college Bucky and Steve were inseparable. Both graduated college and they still continued to see each other...the love they had for each other grew greater every single day. Until Steve decided he couldn't imagine his life without the love of his life and proposed to Bucky in front of family and friends on Christmas day. 

"Are you serious...I mean...I don't know what to say" Bucky replied in shock

"I hope its yes" Steve replied with a smile

"Yes...oh my God yes" Bucky replied as he watched Steve slide a silver ring on his finger

"I love you Bucky" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

"I love you too" Bucky replied feeling the tears roll down his cheeks  
*Back To Now*

"I'm so sorry Bucky. I thought I could handle it...but I just" Newman said sadly

"Don't worry about it. I was in your position too. I told you if you ever need help call me and well here I am" Bucky replied with a smile

Newman smiled as he watch in awe as Bucky began help customers quickly.

"That is the busiest it has ever been. And its snowing like crazy outside" Bucky said as he plopped into one of the coffee house chairs

"Look I know today was your day off. I can't begin to tell you how grateful and bad I feel at the same time" Newman said softly

"First of all don't feel bad you have no reason to and secondly work never has guarantees on days off. Listen like I said you need me call me. Now I got to get out of here I have plans for dinner tonight" Bucky said with a smile

"Yeah don't want your wife to be upset" Newman replied with a smile

"Not exactly" Bucky said with a soft smile

"Oh...ohhh I see" Newman said finally understanding

"That doesn't bother you does it...that I have a husband instead of a wife" Bucky asked softly

"Hey who am I to pass judgement. In my eyes your still a great guy and that's all that matters to me. You love who you want and if that makes you happy screw everyone else" Newman said with a smile

"Thanks...look I'll see you tomorrow alright" Bucky said with a smile and waved goodbye walking out of the shop

Bucky got into his car...ugh it was always freezing in here "Ugh what I wouldn't give for one sunny day"

Bucky finally got the heater going and began to drive off. He couldn't wait to go home and just be back in the warm inviting arms of his husband.

It was then that Bucky's phone went off "Yes dear"

"You better be on your way home" Steve replied on the other end

"I'm in the car as we speak. Told you I would get out on time" Bucky replied with a chuckle

Bucky then stopped at the red stoplight "So where did you want to go tonight" 

"I was thinking of making dinner tonight. Its so warm and comfy here...so why leave" Steve replied softly

"Sounds like a plan...I can't wait for this snowing to settle already" Bucky replied softly

Bucky then saw the light turn green...it was then that he saw bright headlights coming in and coming fast

It was also then that the last word that Steve heard was his name being whispered and the phone cutting off and then nothing more.


	2. I'm Sorry Do I Know You

"Do you James Buchanan Barnes take Steven Grant Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold in sickness and health till death do you part?" 

"I do...Always" Bucky replied locking his eyes on Steve

"And forever" Steve replied with a smile

*End Flashback*

It was cold...why was it so cold? Not only cold but dark? 

Bucky felt like he couldn't understand why he was feeling like he was having an out of body experience. Like he could feel his body...but at the same time couldn't something was wrong...something was very wrong.

"Please my husband he was brought in here. Please tell me where he is?" Steve asked in tears

"Sir please calm yourself. I need you to calm down and tell me your husbands name so I can confirm he's here" the nurse replied softly

"James Barnes" Steve replied softly still crying

"Okay I'll check right now. Bare with me hun" the nurse replied softly

Steve waited and felt like he couldn't breath with every minuet passing by.

"Okay sir your husband was brought into this unit. They are trying to get him stable so if you can please just wait until he is stabilized you can see him" the nurse replied softly

"Why can't I see him now? Why can't I be there with him" Steve asked frustrated

"Its just the rules of the hospital sir...please try to understand. If it was up to me I would let you go but I can't...I'm sorry" the nurse replied softly

Steve sighed softly and took a seat in the lobby. He had never felt so broken in all of his life.

*Hours later*  
It felt like hours went on until finally after waiting forever and not budging from his seat at all Steve was called

"Sir you may go see him now. Room 313 down the hall on the left" the nurse said softly

"Thank you" Steve said quickly and all but power walked to the room.

Steve walked in and felt his heart drop. There he was looking so tired and even as he slept the look of pain still etched on his face.

He had cuts on the left side of his face and is you paid close attention tiny pieces of glass still in his arm. He had deep purple bruising on certain parts of his body. He didn't look like the Bucky he knew and loved...but it was him under all it.

Steve leaned in and kissed Bucky's forehead "Oh baby...I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry"

Nothing...no response. It was times like this when Bucky would smile and ask what the hell was Steve sorry for?

"I'm not leaving here tonight. I promise I'll be here when you wake up. I promise" Steve whispered as he pulled the seat closer to Bucky's bed and laced their hands together

*The Next Day*  
As promised Steve was there by Bucky's bed watching over him like a hawk. He never budged...thanks to the kind nurses Steve ate but only because they brought him coffee and breakfast. They told him that they prayed Bucky would wake up soon and that their love for each other would be strong enough to withstand this ordeal.

Hours passed and Steve quickly went home to shower and change. He brought a few things that belonged to Bucky...including their wedding photo, a stuffed bear that Steve gave to him on their second date and some extra clothes just in case.

Steve made his way back to the hospital where he was greeted by nurses "Thanks for everything ladies. This is on me...you deserve it"

Steve smiles as he passed them coffee and a box of doughnuts

"You are the sweetest" The nurses replied as they took the coffee and doughnuts 

Steve walked into the room and set the bear next to Bucky and the photo on the stand next to Bucky.

"Sorry babe...stepped out for a while I brought you a few things" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

Steve brushed a stray hair out of Bucky's face. The bruising was lightning and weren't as dark as when they started.

Steve couldn't even let the police finish when the described the accident scene. Bucky was hit head on and thrown out of the front of the car...his impact on the ground not as bad thanks to landing into a pile of snow. The culprit some damn drunk who shouldn't have been drive and was way over the alcohol limit. Why Bucky? Why did Bucky have to pay the price for some fucking idiot. 

Steve was about to take a seat in his usual chair until he saw it. Bucky was twitching...fingers moving and eyes fluttering like if they were about to open. His body began to shift and then finally like person breathing for the first time Bucky opened his eyes and locked them on the first thing he saw. Steve.

"Oh my God Bucky" Steve said in shock rushing up to Bucky's side reaching his hand out to caress Bucky's only to be met with Bucky pulling away in fear

"What are you doing" Bucky replied softly

"Touching you?" Steve replied softly

"Well don't. I don't know you for you to touch me" Bucky replied sternly

"Bucky baby don't play come on" Steve replied trying to touch Bucky again but was shoved away

"I mean it...don't touch me" Bucky replied sternly

"It's me Steve...your husband" Steve replied softly

"I'm sorry...but I don't know who you are" Bucky whispered softly

Steve felt like he just got punched in the gut. This couldn't be happening.


	3. Husbands?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww I'm thankful for all the hits  
> I'm glad you all are enjoying...I'm having fun with this so far :)

"Bucky. Baby...It's me your husband Steve. Don't you recognize me?" Steve asked on the verge of tears

"I've never seen or met you in my life. I don't know you at all and as far as being my husband...I don't see how that is possible. Like I said I don't know you" Bucky replied sternly

"Look at your hand. Look at it" Steve whispered softly

Bucky removed his gaze from Steve and looked at his hand. There is was...a silver wedding ring on his finger shining with the hospital lights. Bucky gasped in surprise...this man whoever he was wasn't lying. He was telling the truth...only Bucky didn't know. He just couldn't understand why he just couldn't remember something so important.

"The picture on the stand...look at it" Steve added softly

Bucky looked over and there was a picture in a platinum silver frame. In the picture was he and Steve kissing sweetly dressed both in tuxedos looking as handsome as ever. 

"Everyone said that those pictures came out beautifully. You picked that one because you said you loved the way I kept my eyes open to look at you when I was kissing you. I always disagreed saying it was kinda strange...but I couldn't help but look at you when we kissed. You looked so beautiful" Steve said with a soft smile

Bucky began to cry softly "I'm so sorry but I don't remember that. Or this." Bucky lifted his hand to show his wedding ring

"I don't remember anything or you...I just don't...I don't know" Bucky replied softly

Suddenly there was a light knocking on the door "Hello sorry to interrupt...I'm Dr Lowell"

"Hello nice to meet you sir" Steve replied shaking the doctors extended hand

"Mr Barnes how are you feeling today?" Dr. Lowell asked with a soft smile

Bucky gave a confused look but replied "Tired and sore. What happen to me? Why am I here?"

"You are here because you were in a car accident. We've been taking care of you and as far as the soreness it will subside. I will prescribe you some medication for the pain and you'll be alright. Okay" Dr. Lowell replied with a smile

"Okay" Bucky replied softly

"Mr. Rogers was it?" Dr. Lowell asked softly

"Yes" Steve replied 

"May I speak with you outside for a moment" Dr. Lowell replied softly

Steve nodded and gave one last look at Bucky who was playing with his wedding ring and followed the doctor outside.

"He didn't know who you were? Am I correct?" Dr. Lowell asked softly

Steve's eyebrows furrowed together "How did you know that?"

"While here we ran some test on Mr. Barnes. The test revealed that he is suffering from post traumatic amnesia" Dr. Lowell replied softly

"I don't understand" Steve replied softly

"Post traumatic amnesia happens when a person suffers a knock on the head making the person lose all knowledge of memories before the incident that has happened. In this case Mr. Barnes has lost all memory of everything he knew or lived before the accident. Meaning he doesn't remember how the accident happen, why he is here or sadly you" Dr. Lowell said with a frown

Steve felt his heart fall to his feet. Bucky his Bucky didn't even know who he was and it wasn't his fault. 

"Will his memory come back. I mean will he eventually remember" Steve asked softly

Dr Lowell sighed "I'm not sure. I'm sure later on he will have flashbacks or fragments here or there. But this doesn't mean he can't be given new memories to help him along...meaning if you can show him how he lived his life before hand or how you all became a couple. It will eventually stir some memories up and will help his grasp better on things. You just have to be patient...sometimes it can be overwhelming for them and they don't know how to react to this information" 

"That explains why he got upset when I told him we were married" Steve replied with a sigh

"Yes. If they do not know and are given such information in such a manner it scares them...it can make them sad or in his case overwhelmed and upset. He doesn't mean to be but he doesn't know how to store this info" Dr. Lowell replied softly

"Look I'm having his released today. He seems to be doing better...just take him home and try to take it slow with information. If he ask anything or sees anything to stir his memory try to be gentle about telling him about it. If you notice he reacts a certain way don't be alarmed just give him sometime to gather himself...alright?" Dr. Lowell replied with a gentle smile

Steve held his tears back and sighed "Thank you doctor...I'll try my best"

"Look here is my personal cell. If you need help with anything call me and I will help you. Everything will be alright just give him some time" 

"Look be honest...is there a possibility he won't remember anything at all...like ever" Steve asked sadly

"Yes there is...but I'm positive that it will turn out for the better" Dr. Lowell said as he walked away

Steve stood there for a moment and felt like he was in some bad dream and that sooner or later he would wake up and Bucky would be there right beside him sleeping peacefully. But sadly this wasn't a bad dream...this was reality and he had to deal with it the best he could. Once he gathered himself Steve walked back into Bucky's room.

Bucky once again locked eyes on Steve's form. Bucky couldn't help but stare...whoever this man was claiming he was his husband was quite handsome. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, amazing physique and he loved the way he looked at him with such love in his eyes. 

Bucky opened his mouth and spoke "Steve...right?"

"Yeah" Steve replied softly

"When can I get out of this place?" Bucky asked softly

"Today. Doctor says you are looking better so you get to go home today" Steve replied with a soft smile

"Do we...Do we live together? Or do I have my own home?" Bucky asked softly

"We live together in an apartment" Steve whispered softly

"Oh...alright. Well wherever we live...it's better than being here" Bucky replied with a soft smile

Steve smiled back "Anything is better than here"

After Bucky changed into the clothes Steve brought him and the paperwork was done with. Bucky was out of the hospital and sitting in the passenger seat of Steve's car. The silence between the two was driving Bucky nuts so he decided to ask some questions. 

"So...umm how long have we been...you know married?" Bucky asked his gaze locked on the window of the passenger side

"Four years" Steve replied softly

"Wow...How did we meet?" Bucky asked 

"In college...I kinda had a crush on you and asked you out one day. You said yes and the rest is history" Steve replied with a smile

Bucky smiled softly then a frown appeared on his face "I'm sorry that I don't remember"

"It's okay...just give it some time. Look we have to stop by the store to pick up your medication before we head home okay" Steve said turning a street corner

"Okay" Bucky replied with a soft smile

Once Steve parked into the store parking lot he looked over at Bucky "Do you want to wait here or come inside"

"I don't mind going inside with you" Bucky replied softly

"Alright then let's go" Steve replied unbuckling his belt

Steve walked over to Bucky's side and opened the door for Bucky extending his hand for Bucky to take. Bucky hesitated but took Steve's hand with a soft smile.

"After you" Steve said with a smile

"Umm I'd rather follow behind you...I could get lost in here...ya know" Bucky replied softly

"Alright" Steve said softly

Both walked into the store and passed aisles until they both made it to the store pharmacy. Bucky watched as people passed him by some smiled...some didn't. He couldn't help but wonder if he knew any of these people if maybe they were friends of his. 

It was then that a voice said his name "Bucky oh my god. I can't believe it how are you doing"

Suddenly a petite woman walked up to Bucky and enveloped him in a tight hug. Bucky grew stiff at the feeling and didn't move an inch. 

"I heard about the accident in the news...oh god I prayed that you were okay and here you are" the woman said softly

"I'm sorry but do I know you?" Bucky whispered softly

The woman released the hug and scoffed playfully "Its me Janet...come Bucky don't play"

"I'm sorry but I have no idea who you are. So please let me go" Bucky replied softly

"Janet hey how are you?" A voice said from behind Bucky

"Steve I'm good. Listen you need to tell this hubby of yours to quit playing games. Acting like he doesn't know me...the jerk" Janet said patting Bucky on the arm

"But i don't know you. And I'm not playing. I don't know any of you. I don't know anything....I just don't know" Bucky replied tears flowing down his face as he rushed out of the store

"Bucky wait...listen Janet I got to go. I'll call you and tell you about it when I get home okay" Steve replied as he rushed after Bucky

Steve finally caught up to Bucky who was already waiting in the car 

"Are you...are you..." Steve was cut off

"No...I'm not okay. I just want to go home...I just please I want to go home" Bucky whispered sadly

"Okay we'll go home okay. Just relax alright" Steve replied softly

Bucky didn't say a word and just listened as the car turned over and they drove off. Bucky hated this...being helpless was the worst feeling in the world and he felt like there was nothing he could do about it.


	4. This Is Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cause I mean what else is there to do when you get out of work early ;)

"Look I'm sorry about back there. I shouldn't have let you out of my sight" Steve said parking the car in the apartment parking space

"Look its not that...I'm not a child. It's just I panicked okay...I didn't know who that woman was and I just didn't know how to react. I don't know how to react to any of this. I wake up one day and suddenly everything that meant everything to me or at one point in my life did is erased. How am I supposed to handle this?" Bucky replied sadly

"Together. You and me will get through this together...because we love each other okay" Steve whispered softly placing his hand slowly on Bucky's

Bucky tensed at the touch. He hated knowing that being touched in the way bothered him...when he knew at one point in his life he relished in it "Do we?"

"Do we what?" Steve asked confused

"Love each other?" Bucky asked softly

"Very much" Steve replied with a gentle smile

"Well than how come I don't feel it?" Bucky asked with a frown

Those words hit Steve like a ton of bricks. He would never in a million years have guessed that Bucky would ever say he didn't feel love for him.

"Just give it time...you will" Steve smiled

"And what if I don't. What then?" Bucky asked

"Don't say that...just think positive Buck okay" Steve replied softly

"I have a question" Bucky asked softly

"Okay" Steve replied he was more than happy to answer Bucky's question

"My name...Is it really Bucky?" Bucky asked softly

"Well no it's a nickname you were given in grade school. You told me that when we officially started dating in college" Steve replied softly

"Oh...okay. So my real name what is it?" Bucky asked with a soft smile

"James Buchanan Barnes" Steve replied 

"Wow that's a mouthful. I think Bucky is better" Bucky said with a chuckle

Steve couldn't help but smile. For just that moment it was like his Bucky resurfaced for just that moment and it was beautiful. 

"Well I would like to go inside and see what my home looks like. If you don't mind" Bucky replied shyly

"No problem" Steve replied unbuckling his belt and doing the same of walking to Bucky's side and helping him out of the car

After walking up a few stairs Bucky and Steve stood in front of a red door. Bucky kept his eyes locked on Steve and watched his every movement as Steve unlocked the door. Once the door was open Bucky couldn't help a sudden feeling of peace when he walked into the apartment. 

"Here it is home sweet home. Its not much but you always said as long as we have each other...everything was perfect" Steve added with a smile

"Hmm...its nice" Bucky replied simply

"Well I figured you would...seeing as I had no say in the decorating" Steve replied softly

Bucky smiled softly as he began to walk around and trace his fingers on every inch of apartment he passed. Bucky walked until his steps stopped...it was then he saw a picture on the nightstand. It was of him and Steve lying together in bed...apparently he had been the one to take it as Steve smiled softly his hand lying on Bucky's bare chest.

"Oh you took that. One of your favorites...you always kinda had a flare for photography" Steve replied softly

"I did?" Bucky asked picking up the framed image

"Yeah mostly all the pictures in here you took yourself" Steve replied softly

"Hmm guess I'm not that bad then huh" Bucky smiled setting the image down

Hours passed between Bucky looking at images and Steve telling him stories about behind every photo. Bucky showed a smile but deep down inside it killed Bucky that he couldn't recall anything about the image or even taking the image.

Silence passed until a low rumble was heard and Steve looked up with a smile

"I'm sorry" Bucky whispered

"For what? Being hungry" Steve replied with a huge smile

Bucky couldn't help but smile everytime Steve did. Something about seeing that smile on his face made him feel something deep down inside.

"How about I make us some dinner" Steve said getting up from the couch

"Umm okay sounds nice" Bucky replied softly

Steve smiled as he walked to the kitchen and began taking out food from the fridge and freezer. Bucky watched as Steve walked back and forth in the kitchen gathering items to make dinner for the two of them.

Bucky went back to looking at photos and finally grew frustrated of not knowing people of the photo and the story behind them and set them aside. Bucky then looked down and his gaze locked onto the silver ring on his finger. Bucky began to twirl the finger around his finger and then finally slid it off. It was then that Bucky noticed an inscription on the inside of the ring. 

"Always" Bucky whispered reading the inscription 

Bucky then sighed softly and got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen

Steve was in full concentration that was until he felt a hand reach out for his. Steve turned to see Bucky reaching for his wedding finger

"Take it off...I want to see it. Please" Bucky said softly

"Oo...okay" Steve stuttered and slowly slid the band off his finger. Steve immediately hated the feeling of being without his wedding ring on.

Bucky grabbed the ring and inside was an inscription as well

"Forever" Bucky said confused

"Yeah every sentence starting with I love you...you would say always and I would say forever" Steve whispered softly

Then without warning Bucky grabbed Steve and kissed him passionately. Steve was taken aback.

Bucky pulled away and tears rolled down his face "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry but why can't I remember? How come I felt nothing when I kissed you"

"Just give it.." Steve was cut off

"Time...just give it time. What If remember nothing? How am I supposed to deal with that? Tell me that? How can you have someone tell you how much you love them and that person feels nothing for you in return. TELL ME HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THAT??!" Bucky shouted

"Bucky calm down" Steve whispered trying to reach out for Bucky

"Don't tell me to calm down. JUST PLEASE...I WANT THINGS BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE...BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY WERE IN THE FIRST PLACE AND THAT KILLS ME" Bucky shouted

Bucky then fell to the floor in tears. Steve slowly reached out and gathered Bucky in his arms. More than anything he wanted the same thing Bucky wanted...for things to be the way they were.


	5. Sleeplessness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying My Sunday With  
> Some An Update  
> Thanks for all the hits and comments you all are amazing

After finally consoling Bucky and finishing dinner the two sat at the table to finally eat. If you didn't know it would look like a regular lovely couple enjoying dinner in a warm and comfy apartment. Unfortunately this wasn't the case.

Bucky reached out to grab at his cup of soda and accidentally knocked it over.

"Sorry I'm so sorry" Bucky replied getting up quickly to try to clean up the mess

Bucky was getting a bit flustered as he began to clean the mess and was growing anxious

Steve noticed the behavior and took Bucky by the hand "Bucky calm down it's okay. It's just a little mess"

"I keep messing up everything today don't I" Bucky replied sadly

"Listen you need to stop apologizing for everything alright. As far as you messing up everything today...you haven't okay so just relax alright babe" Steve replied with a warm smile

Bucky' eyes locked onto Steve "You always have the words for everything...don't you"

"What do you mean?" Steve asked softly

Bucky watched as Steve finished cleaning up the mess and tossing the dirty napkins in the trash.

"Every time I've messed up,or cried and lost my patience today you always say something to make me feel less like crap. Even though I know it's probably not true" Bucky replied softly

"It's all true. You can't help what's been happening today and I understand that. Also what kind of a husband would I be if I didn't try to make you feel better" Steve asked with a smile

Bucky smiled "I don't know. But I assume one that had alot of patience with me being such a klutz all the time"

"No you aren't a klutz" Steve smiled

Bucky raised an eyebrow

"Okay you can be a klutz at times...but your my klutz" Steve whispered as he began to lean in to kiss Bucky

Bucky didn't know how to react and pulled away quickly "I'm sorry I can't. I didn't mean to send mixed signals"

Steve couldn't help but feel a sting of hurt when Bucky pulled away "It's okay. I'm just being stupid...I shouldn't try to move things to quickly"

Bucky sighed "Um I'm kinda of tired...do you mind if I go to bed" 

"No not at all. Look let me tell you how to take your medication and then you can take it and go to bed" Steve replied walking to the kitchen 

Bucky followed and listened as Steve told him about his medication. Bucky smiled softly as he watched this man put such care in his words and everything that concerned Bucky's well being. He could tell the love this man had for him was immense...he just wish he could remember how he felt about him. How did they fall in love? Their wedding day...was he nervous...did he cry? He wanted so much just to remember one single detail.

After Bucky took his medication Bucky went straight to bed and covered himself up with the warm sheets. Bucky turned over and caught the smell of what he knew was to be Steve's pillow. He couldn't help but grab at it and relish in the smell...it was the kind of smell that made you smile as soon as it hit you. It was distinct, it was warm and inviting. 

Minuets passed and Bucky still couldn't sleep even though the medication was supposed to make him drowsy "Side effects my ass" Bucky whispered getting out of bed

Bucky walked in the the living room and caught sight of Steve's sleeping form on the couch. Steve decided to not make Bucky uncomfortable so he would let Bucky have the bed to himself. Bucky walked over to the couch and smiled seeing Steve sleeping on the couch hugging a sofa pillow against his chest.

Bucky slowly placed a hand on Steve's shoulder making Steve shoot up quickly 

"It's me...I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you" Bucky whispered softly

"Are you okay?" Steve asked concerned 

"I'm fine...listen I can't sleep. Would you mind umm coming to bed with me you know just keeping me company until I fall asleep" Bucky asked shyly

"Are you sure?" Steve asked softly

"Yes" Bucky replied softly

Steve got off the couch and followed Bucky to the room. Cautiously Steve got into after Bucky got himself settled in...Steve felt like he shouldn't make any sudden movements until Bucky gave the okay too. So Steve stayed on his side and Bucky on his side.

"Thank you I hope I'm not making you uncomfortable" Bucky whispered softly

"No its fine" Steve replied softly

"Goodnight Steve" Bucky whispered

"Goodnight Buck" Steve replied 

Soon Bucky fell asleep. Steve stayed awake and watched Bucky sleep...more then anything he wished he could hold Bucky as he slept but he knew he couldn't. The last thing he wanted to do was making Bucky uncomfortable. Steve watched Bucky sleep until finally sleep overcame him and dozed off.

*The Next Day*  
Bucky awoke to the sight of Steve sleeping beside him. He looked so peaceful as he slept.

"I can feel you burning a hole into my soul" Steve whispered eyes still closed

Bucky smiled "I'm sorry"

"What did I tell you about apologizing for everything" Steve said opening his eyes and sitting up in bed

Bucky smiled softly "I can't help it...I'm so__"

Steve held his hand up "How bout we get some breakfast okay"

"Okay" Bucky replied softly getting out of bed

Once Bucky and Steve changed and got dressed in separate rooms of course the two made their way downstairs and in the cold crisp air. 

"Why is it always so cold out?" Bucky asked softly

"You always say that" Steve replied with a smile

"I do?" Bucky asked softly

"Yeah you would always tell me what you wouldn't give for one sunny day" Steve replied softly as he opened Bucky's door for him

"Hmm well it would be nice...it's too cold" Bucky replied softly

Steve was about to get in the car until he noticed Bucky was still standing by the car door.

"Something wrong" Steve asked 

"Do you always drive? I mean have I ever driven us anywhere?" Bucky asked with a furrowed brow

"Well you would but I mean I just figured in your condition you would rather I drive" Steve replied softly

"Oh okay" Bucky replied 

"Do you want to give it a go" Steve asked softly

"I don't know? Are you sure" Bucky asked softly

Steve raised the keys and then tossed them at Bucky. Bucky caught the keys with a soft smile and made his way towards the driver side. Steve got into the passenger side and watched as Bucky put the keys in the ignition. It was then that hearing that sound made Bucky's blood run cold.

Bucky began to feel a sudden wave of anxiety as he gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles began to turn white. His breathing began to come in heavy and he was shaking slightly.

"Bucky are you okay?" Steve asked worriedly seeing the expression on Bucky's face

Bucky turned to look at Steve. He had a look of fear in his eyes and look like he wanted to cry

"I can't...I can't and I don't know why" Bucky said still gripping at the wheel

"It's okay...look just leave the car running and I'll take over" Steve said calmly 

"Okay...okay" Bucky replied and quickly got out of the car

Steve rushed over to Bucky's side and enveloped him in a warm hug "It's okay don't worry about it"

"Why did that happen?" Bucky asked confused 

Steve didn't respond "Let's go get breakfast first and I'll tell you everything. Okay"

Bucky nodded "okay"

Steve got in the car and closed the door and waited till Bucky was settled in his side and finally drove off.

Steve couldn't help but mentally scold himself for being such an idiot and letting Bucky do that.

"Your such an idiot Rogers...a big freaking idiot"


	6. Phone Call

Bucky all but shoveled his breakfast in his mouth. Steve couldn't help but smile watching Bucky eat...Bucky looked up and blushed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry...I didn't think you were watching me" Bucky said softly setting his fork down

"Stop apologizing will ya" Steve said with a playful glare

Bucky smiled softly and nodded "Look I know you don't like me apologizing about certain things but I just can't help it. I know this isn't easy for me or you...I know you are trying your best to be patient but I just can't help but feel like I'm driving you nuts"

"Your not okay" Steve replied 

After breakfast Steve took Bucky for a walk in the park...maybe it would stir some memories seeing as he and Bucky would always go to the park together and just watch the the passer byes and just be in each others company.

Bucky took a seat on the park bench and cleared his throat "I've been meaning to ask you something"

"Go ahead you know you can ask me anything" Steve replied softly

"Do I have any parents or siblings?" Bucky asked with a warm smile

Steve smiled weakly this was the question he had been hoping Bucky would never asking...but alas he knew it was bound to come up.

"As far as siblings you don't...you are an only child. And well your parents...yeah they live about an hour away from here" Steve replied softly

"Why didn't they come to see me in the hospital? Which by the way why was I in the hospital?" Bucky asked

"Well your parent's haven't spoken to you in a while...and well you were in the hospital because you were in an accident" Steve replied 

"What happen?" Bucky asked faintly 

"I don't Bucky...are you sure you want to know?" Steve asked nervously

"Yes please" Bucky replied quickly

Steve sighed "You got hit head on by a drunk driver and well you flew out of the car. You took quite a knock on the head and got a few bumps and bruises here and there."

"Is that why I can't remember anything?" Bucky asked sadly

"Yeah" Steve replied softly

"Hmm...what happen to the driver" Bucky asked 

"He's in jail now" Steve replied 

Bucky didn't respond and just turned his sights on a couple that was holding hands and exchanging light kisses. Steve saw what Bucky was looking at and couldn't help but think that Bucky wanted nothing more to just a remember a moment shared in that way.

"My parents...do they not like me?" Bucky asked his eyes still locked on the couple

"No...they love you. It's me they aren't to crazy about" Steve replied with a chuckle

"Why is that?" Bucky asked confused

"Long story" Steve replied softly

"But you are a nice person, very sweet and very very patient. I don't understand how they cannot like you" Bucky asked in confusion

"Well they don't see what you see unfortunately. Hey let's get out of here and head home...we can watch some TV or something." Steve replied trying to get Bucky's mind off his parents

"Okay" Bucky replied standing from the park bench

Bucky couldn't help but wonder why his parents didn't like this man. He was very sweet and showed nothing but love in his eyes when he looked at him...maybe he should find out on his own.

After a quite drive home Bucky and Steve found themselves back home and headed back into their warm apartment. Steve and Bucky both removed their coats and hung them up on the back of the door. 

"How about a little TV" Steve asked with a smile

"Okay...but I have to use the bathroom first" Bucky replied with a smile

"Sure...I'll be here waiting" Steve replied grabbing the remote control

Bucky walked passed the bathroom and straight in the bedroom. It was then that Bucky walked straight to the nightstand and opened it...once opened Bucky say a blue book with his name on it. Bucky slowly pulled the book out and opened it...inside the book were numbers with names by them his assumed numbers of people he knew. Also in the book were scribbles of Bucky loves Steve...always and forever. Just like the words written on the inside of his and Steve's rings.

Bucky flipped over a few pages and found a number...next to the number were the words mom and dad. Then for some strange reason he must have drawn a broken heart next to the number. Bucky couldn't understand or remember why he would do that. 

Bucky then glanced at the phone on the nightstand and took a deep breath. He had so many questions that needed to be answered and he couldn't help but think Steve wasn't fully be honest about his relationship with his family.

Bucky grabbed the phone and dialed the number that was written.

One Ring

Two Rings

Three...

"Hello" a woman said on the other end

Bucky felt his heart racing.

"Hello...Steve is this you. What do you want?" The woman asked flatly

Bucky cleared his throat and spoke "Mmm...Mom"

The woman gasped on the other end "James"

Bucky didn't know what to say and just remained silent 

"James please answer is that you" the woman asked softly

"Yes its me" Bucky replied soflty

"Oh my god...why haven't you called? Where have you been...its Steve isn't it? He's keeping you from us" the woman replied angrily

Bucky couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed with her tone and began to panic. It was then that Steve walked in and grabbed the phone.

"Who is this?" Steve asked softly

"You know who this is" the woman replied with a scoff

"Rebecca so nice to hear from you" Steve replied sounding less than amsued

"Finally decided to let my son have some freedom" Rebecca replied 

"Don't you start with me. You know I would never hold Bucky back from talking to you...you were the ones who drove him away with your actions" Steve replied sternly

"That's a lie and you know it" Rebecca spat back

"Oh really then why haven't you called him. Why haven't you come over? Can't let the fact that you aren't to crazy about me be less than important than your own son" Steve replied harshly

"If you would have been more into Bucky's life you would have known about the accident" Steve replied roughly

"We knew...its just...we couldn't see our son in that way" Rebecca replied softly

"More excuses...look I have to go. Look if you want to see Bucky I won't stop you...goodbye Rebecca" Steve replied and hung up the phone

Steve turned to see Bucky glancing at Steve with a look of shock and saddness.

"I'm sorry I just wanted to talk to my parents...I wanted to find out things on my own" Bucky replied sadly

"Look Bucky if you want to see your parents I will take you. And as for that...I'm sorry you had to hear that its just...its just I get so frustrated sometimes with how certain things turned out. But I can set all that aside for you...because I love you and want you to not be without anything you need" Steve replied softly

"Thank you...I do want to see my parents" Bucky replied softly

"Alright...I think I can manage. We can go tomorrow okay...but for now how about we just relax and watch TV" Steve replied as he reached out for Bucky's hand

Bucky sighed softly and took Steve's hand. What he just heard left his mind racing as to why Steve felt such a way...but he was sure that upon seeing his parents he would get the answers he needed.


	7. Barnes Residence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day Off You Know What That Means

"Are you still sure you want to do this?" Steve asked softly turning a right corner

"Yes...I'm sure" Bucky replied his gaze locked on the passenger window.

Bucky couldn't believe this is where he came from. Every single house was so huge and elaborate...he felt quite out of place.

"Well here we are...this is your parent's house" Steve said driving up and turning off the car

"Wow...its...so...big. Why would my parent's need a huge house like this if I was the only child?" Bucky asked his nose scrunched up in confusion

"Wow...you would always say that" Steve said with a look of surprise

"I did? Well I just don't get it...seems a little too much if you ask me" Bucky replied unbuckling his belt

"Me neither...why don't we just go knock on the door and see if they are here" Steve replied getting out of the car

Bucky took a deep breath and got out of the car...Bucky could swear he could hear his heart pounding in his ear.

"Why am I so nervous? I mean these people are my parents...I shouldn't be so nervous" Bucky whispered softly

"Look don't be...I'm right here by your side okay" Steve replied with a warm smile

"Okay" Bucky replied softly

"Ready" Steve asked with a smile

Bucky sighed "As I'll ever be"

Bucky and Steve began to make their way up Bucky's parent's long driveway and towards a huge elaborate front door with the name Barnes written in beautiful calligraphy above it. Bucky walked towards the door and slowly pressed the doorbell. Bucky couldn't help but jump hearing the loud doorbell sound go off. 

A few minuets passed before footsteps were heard on the other side and finally the sound of the door unlocking. Bucky felt his emotions going crazy and he just couldn't understand why. Finally the door opened and there on the other end stood a beautiful brunette woman her hair long and curled, her skin like porcelain. This woman was all but regal and she looked like one of those old time Hollywood starlets that aged perfectly.

Tears began to spring to the woman's eyes "James...oh my James"

The woman rushed up to Bucky and enveloped him into a tight hug. Bucky didn't know what to do but just stand there his arms at his sides as he just took the hug from this woman.

"James...why don't you hug your mother back?" Rebecca replied sadly

"Because I don't really know you all that well" Bucky replied softly

Rebecca stood there confused

"Rebecca...can we talk inside please" Steve said breaking Rebecca's gaze off her son

Rebecca shot Steve a less than happy glare and nodded.

Steve watched as Bucky made his way upstairs after his mother told him his old room was upstairs.

"The doctor said it was post traumatic amnesia" Steve said with a sigh

"I don't understand are you saying he remember nothing about his life before or his accident" Rebecca said in shock

"Yes...he can store new memories but as for the old ones he doesn't remember them. He's being trying ever since he left the hospital to remember as much as he can and he ask questions every minuet" Steve replied taking a seat on the couch across from Rebecca

"Oh my god...oh James" Rebecca whispered sadly

"Where were you Rebecca...He needed you...he needed both of you. You weren't there" Steve asked sternly

Rebecca glared at Steve "Don't you start with me. You know why we didn't go see him Steve...you know exactly why"

"Look I wasn't the one who told him to say that he never wanted to see you all again. You were the ones who drove him away by trying to force him to be someone he wasn't. I wasn't the one who treated him like an embarrassment" Steve replied harshly

"That's not true and you know it. You were the one who turned our son into something he wasn't. He wasn't never that way until he met you" Rebecca replied with a look of disgust

"Me...turned him into something he wasn't are you kidding me? I didn't turn Bucky...this was the way he always was you just couldn't accept the fact that your son was in love with a man. You hated that...because come on Rebecca what would people say am I right?" Steve replied angrily

"I'm not going to do this with you right now. I refuse" Rebecca replied coldly

Bucky sat in his old room and glanced at all the belongings that decorated his room. Pictures of friends, posters of different parts of the world and some of old time movies. Bucky then opened his nightstand and began to look through it. It was upon looking Bucky found a small journal...Bucky took out the journal and opened it. 

Inside were writings and pictures of him and Steve

Bucky began to read one particular writing 

"I love him so much it hurts. I feel like I can't breath without him.  
I know that when I look at him I want to be with him for the rest of my life.  
But they won't let me and I don't know why. I wish that they would just understand how happy he makes me.  
I wish that everytime they look at me they wouldn't see an embarrassment. All I want is for them to be happy for us.  
I just don't get why.

Bucky bit on his lower lip and picked up a picture of him and Steve kissing under a headlight in the snow. It must have been freezing but by the look on their faces they didn't seem to care. Bucky smiled softly looking at the picture.

It was then that Bucky's ears perked up hearing a jingling sound coming from the hall...Bucky turned to see a monster of a dog standing by his door frame.

"Oh my god" Bucky whispered softly

"Umm hi...I'm Bucky" Bucky whispered nervously

The dog slowly walked up to Bucky...the dog being a huge harlequin great dane. Bucky plopped himself on his bed and waited to see what this dog would do next...then before he knew the dog sat by Bucky's leg and pressed his forehead against his shin.

Bucky smiled softly as he slowly put his hand on top of the dogs head.The dog looked up with a look of happiness and his tail began to wag.

"Ahh I see you've met this big ole goofball" Steve said with a smile

"He's very sweet" Bucky replied still petting the dog

"Of course he is...he's your baby. That big goofballs name is Jax" Steve replied with a smile

"Hi Jax...sorry I panicked I just didn't remember you... my apologies" Bucky said with a smile

"He misses you I'm sure. When you began moving out he got really bummed out and wasn't the same as before" Steve replied walking up to Jax and petting his head

Bucky sighed and smiled softly at Jax "Sorry about that"

"My mother...umm should I go talk to her" Bucky asked playing with one of Jax's huge floppy ears

"I'm sure she would like that...look I explained everything to her the best way I can. She was taken by surprise but now that she understands I'm sure she's ready to speak to you" Steve replied with a smile

"Okay...well maybe I head back downstairs" Bucky replied

Bucky got up from the bed and as he did Jax made a whine of sadness. Bucky smiled softly "Don't worry...I promise I'll be back and we can spend more time with each other"

Jax barked loudly and Bucky laughed "Well alright"

Steve smiled as Bucky made his way out of the room and downstairs. Steve hoped that everything would go well...Steve looked around in Bucky's room and caught sight of the journal Bucky was reading...Steve began to read the writing and sighed sadly

"Oh Buck" 

Bucky sat on the couch across his mother and smiled softly.

"Your hair has grown since I last saw you. It's quite the look" Rebecca said with a smile

"Oh...well I like it. Do you not like it" Bucky asked moving a stray strand of hair from his face

"Oh no darling you are still as handsome as ever" Rebecca replied with a smile

Bucky blushed "Thank you...mother"

Rebecca smiled "So how about you tell me how have you been doing since you left the hospital"

After a few hours of talking Bucky walked back upstairs to find Steve still sitting there with Jax right by his side.

"Everything alright" Steve asked quickly shooting out of the bed

"Yeah...I'm ready to head on out now" Bucky replied softly

"Okay then" Steve replied as he followed Bucky downstairs

Bucky and Steve were about to walk out until Bucky heard a whine coming from the top of the stairs. There stood Jax with a sad puppy look in his eyes.

"Umm mom I was wondering...if you don't mine. May I take Jax with me?" Bucky asked softly

"Well of course...he is your baby after all" Rebecca replied with a smile

Bucky looked over at Steve with a huge smile on his face "Oh boy here we go"

Bucky called out Jax's name and like a bolt Jax ran downstairs and out the door following behind Bucky.

After both Steve and Bucky got into the car Steve turned around to see a huge great dane sitting in the backseat with his tongue hanging out and ready for his car ride home.

"Brat" Steve whispered as he started to drive off and head home


	8. Who Do You Believe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Bed Update

"Make yourself at home you goofball" Steve said opening the door for Jax.

Jax walked in and jumped right on the couch and made himself comfortable.

"He's something else I tell ya?" Steve said hanging his coat up on the door

"Yeah he is...he's very sweet" Bucky replied softly

It was then that Steve couldn't help but notice a look of confusion on Bucky's face. 

"Hey are you alright?" Steve asked concerned

"I'm having a hard time understanding...If me and Jax were so attached why wouldn't I bring him with me upon me moving out?" Bucky replied softly his gazed locked on the large sleeping dog on the couch

Steve looked down and sighed "I don't Bucky...I don't know if I should tell you maybe you should ask your parents"

"Just tell me...please" Bucky pleaded softly his hair covering his face and his blue eyes glowing with question.

"Alright" Steve replied softly

Steve grabbed Bucky's hand and led him to the couch. The couple sat once Jax finally gave up enough space for them to sit.

"Before I tell you this...did your mother tell you anything about us. Anything at all" Steve asked softly

"Actually when I tried to ask about it she kind of changed the subject. Why?" Bucky replied with a confused look

"Figured. Well anyway it doesn't matter" Steve replied with a soft chuckle 

Bucky gave a pout and watched as Steve tried to compose himself.

"Look the reason why you didn't bring Jax with you was because your parent's didn't allow you too. They did it because they were upset with you...they were upset that you were moving out. Well not just moving out...but moving in with me" Steve replied softly

"I don't understand" Bucky replied confused

Steve sighed sadly "They knew how much you loved Jax so they kept him just to spite you...they knew it would make you upset. I guess that was their way of trying to get you to stay...but you didn't and you promised Jax you would try to come back for him. But it never happened and I tried to convince you to get another dog...and every time I brought it up you would get upset and tell me you didn't want another dog...you wanted Jax" 

"Why do they dislike you so much? I mean why did you do?" Bucky asked locking his gaze on Steve

"Nothing at all...well at least in my opinion. But to them what I did wrong was I took you away from them...they say I corrupted you and made you into something you weren't. But that's not true...I just helped you show them who you really were" 

Bucky bit his lower lip " And who am I ?"

"An amazing person who I was lucky to meet and fall in love with. Who I thank god every single day that I share my life with and go to bed with every night" Steve replied with a warm smile

"I don't understand why my mother didn't tell me this" Bucky replied confused

"Because...because she can't. Bucky I don't know...maybe I've said to much already" Steve replied nervously

"I feel like both you and my parents are not telling me the truth. I feel that you are only telling me what I want to hear so I won't get my feelings hurt. Well I'm not a child...be honest with me" Bucky replied sternly

"I am telling you the truth Bucky" Steve replied firmly

"No you are not. Why would my parent's blame you for corrupting me...I mean what does that even mean? Why would my parent's be so spiteful? Why would I even tell my parent's that I never wanted anything to do with them ever again?" Bucky replied angrily

"Because" Steve halted

"Because why damn it?" Bucky shouted back harshly

Steve remained silent

Bucky couldn't help but grow frustrated "If you aren't going to tell me the truth...then I'll find out on my own. Just because I can't remember the past doesn't mean people can tell me about how I lived my own life. Don't treat me like a child"

Steve got up from the couch and walked towards Bucky. Bucky stepped back and raised his hand in order to signal Steve to not come any closer.

"Don't just leave me alone...just please leave me alone. Jax...let's go to bed" Bucky replied 

Jax got off the couch and followed Bucky to the bedroom and Steve watched until Bucky gave one last look and shut the door behind him. 

More than anything Steve wished he could tell Bucky more about how things went so bad with his parent's in the past but he just couldn't. He couldn't bare to hurt Bucky in any way shape or form. But was he doing the right thing...never in his life had Steve felt so torn in his life.


	9. Emotional Overflow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chilling Before Work Update

Bucky sighed softly when he heard a knock on the door

"What do you think Jax? Should I let him in?" Bucky asked with a frown

Jax whined and placed one of his huge paws on Bucky's arm "I'm guessing that's a yes"

"Bucky...please. I just want to talk to you...I didn't meant to make you upset" Steve said on the other side of the door

Bucky gave one last look at Jax "We're saps aren't we Jax?"

Jax barked as Bucky got up from the bed and walked to the door placing his hand on the knob

"Bucky...Bucky please" Steve pleaded 

Bucky opened the door and Steve perked up with a soft smile "You are so lucky Jax likes you so much"

Steve chuckled softly as he walked into the room and shut the door. Steve shot a wink at Jax while Bucky wasn't looking.

"Listen...I'm sorry about out there. I really didn't mean to upset you...I can't begin to imagine how frustrating this is for you" Steve replied sadly

Bucky sighed and sat down on the bed "All I want is just for someone to tell me the truth...regardless of whether it can be hard to handle but I need to know. How am I supposed to know who I really am? Or you for that matter...I mean we are married and I still don't know how to handle that. You don't know what its like to not feel comfortable around your own husband?" 

"I...I make you uncomfortable?" Steve asked rubbing the back of his neck with a frown

"Well yes...no. Ugh I don't know...but I'm sure married people are supposed to hug and kiss. You know...be intimate with each other" Bucky replied looking a bit flustered 

Steve cleared his throat "Look Bucky I don't need all that. All I need is you" Steve replied with a smile

"But you would like that wouldn't you. To have your husband back, to hold and love and I can't be that because I don't know about us be married in the first place" Bucky whispered sadly

Steve looked away...he couldn't bare to see the most important person in his life look so broken.

"Maybe me being here...in this place in my state...Isn't such a good idea" Bucky replied softly

Steve looked at Bucky confused "What are you talking about"

"I think maybe I should just go back home. You know with my parents...look maybe if we spend some time apart it will help me remember some things" Bucky replied as he petted Jax

"You...you want to leave?" Steve asked in shock

"Look maybe it would be good for both of us. I know that waiting on me hand and foot can be exhausting...so me going away for a while will help give you a break" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"But I don't want you to leave ba...I mean Bucky" Steve replied sadly

"Please just understand me doing this okay.I think I'll head back home tomorrow morning" Bucky replied softly

Steve hung his head sadly...it was then that he felt Bucky's warm hands cup his face. Steve relished in feeling Bucky's skin against his again.

"Please don't be sad...I need to do this. I promise that I won't forget you and I will be back" Bucky whispered softly

Steve couldn't hold back his emotions and got off the bed and walked straight out the door. 

"I'm doing the right thing...right Jax?" Bucky whispered to Jax's sleeping form

Steve walked in the bathroom and locked the door behind him. It was then that finally Steve let all of his emotions take over. The anger, the frustration, and broke into tears.

The thought of losing Bucky again drove him crazy...he just didn't think he could deal with it all over again.


	10. That Moment When

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had Time For Another Quick Before Work Update

Steve awoke to the sound of footsteps in the apartment. Steve got out of bed to find Bucky standing by the door with Jax by his side.

"I couldn't leave without telling you bye...so I waited till you woke up" Bucky said faintly

"This isn't goodbye Bucky. I know you'll be back...remember you promised. And I remember you telling me one of your pet peeves were people who broke their promises" Steve said with a soft smile

Bucky smiled softly "Thank you...you know for letting me do this"

"I won't hold you back from what you want Bucky. I never have in the past and I won't start now" Steve replied crossing his arms

"Look I have to go...my cab is waiting for me downstairs" Bucky replied with a gentle smile

Steve gave a confused look "You called a cab? Why didn't you just let me take you" 

"I didn't want to bother you...besides I don't mind" Bucky replied with a soft smile 

"And this cabbie is okay with you putting that monster in his back seat" Steve asked pointing at Jax

Jax barked loudly as if insulted by the remark

"What you know its true" Steve replied with a roll of the eyes

"I paid him extra" Bucky replied with a chuckle

Steve laughed "I guess that's one way to convince someone" 

Slowly Bucky made his way over to Steve and without uttering a single word Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve. Steve felt his heart skip a beat and his breath hitch in his throat...to feel his touch made Steve want to just break down and cry. The embrace felt like it always did when Bucky would pull Steve into his arms for no reason and hold him for hours. It was lovely but heartbreaking at the same time because Bucky wasn't doing this as his husband...he was doing this as a grateful stranger who was happy Steve was so patient with.

"Thank you for everything you have helped me with. You don't know what it means to me" Bucky replied with a soft smile

Steve didn't say a word and just watch as Bucky let go and walked towards the door

"I'll miss you Stevie" Bucky said as he opened the door and walked out with Jax right behind him

Steve watched Bucky from his apartment window. He watched as he placed his bags in the truck and opened the door for Jax...and just like that watched as he drove off and out of sight. Steve walked away and stood in the middle of the apartment...never in a million years would he imagine that Bucky wouldn't be right by his side.

Bucky finally made it to his parents house and got out of the cab. He couldn't help but stand there still in awe of how huge his family home was.

After paying the cab drive once more he grabbed his bags and patted Jax to follow him to the front door.

Bucky took a deep breath and raised his hand to ring the doorbell. 

Bucky could hear footsteps rushing to the door and the finally after a locks being undone Bucky's mother standing there with a huge smile on her face.

Rebecca rushed up to Bucky and pulled him into a hug...immediately Bucky grew stiff.

"Welcome home my baby boy" Rebecca whispered into Bucky's ear

Bucky sighed softly as he slowly wrapped his arms around his mother.

After pacing back and forth for what seemed like forever Steve finally found himself on the couch napping. All Steve saw was the vision of Bucky walking out the front door and hugging him before he left. 

"I'll miss you Stevie" 

Steve shot up quickly...what an idiot how could he have not caught that. Bucky called him Stevie...not Steve. As a matter of fact Bucky rarely said Steve's name. Which only could mean one thing to Steve.

"He's starting to remember" Steve whispered

Without wasting another moment Steve grabbed his keys and coat and walked out the front door. He had to talk to Bucky...he just couldn't let him go...not just yet


	11. Allow It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fresh Out Of Work Update ;)

"Please Rebecca...I just want to talk to him that's all" Steve replied trying to not let his frustration show

"I don't think that would be a good idea" Rebecca replied with a cocked brow

"Not a good idea...in what way? Bucky is my husband...I'm allowed to talk to my husband" Steve replied sternly

Rebecca groaned if frustration and placed and hand on Steve's chest and pushed him out the door.

"I will not allow you to do this again Steve. I have a second chance to make things right with my son and I refuse to let you ruin it" Rebecca replied harshly

"Are you kidding me? Bucky left because you drove him away by not accepting who he was. Instead you tried to turn him into something he wasn't by trying to force him to date women when he was already in love with someone. You force him away Rebecca...you and Robert" Steve replied angrily

It was then that footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and Rebecca and Steve stop talking but exchanged stares of resentment and anger.

"Look just please leave. If you leave now I will consider let you see James later" Rebecca replied softly

Steve sighed in frustration "Fine...but I swear Rebecca if you try to keep Bucky away from me again...I swear to you I will tell Bucky the whole truth"

Rebecca didn't say another word and just watched as Steve walked away and out of sight.

"Mom? Are you here?" Bucky's voice was heard from inside

"Yes I'm here" Rebecca called out from outside

"Was someone here? I heard you talking to someone?" Bucky asked softly

"Uh yes it was out neighbor...she was just checking to see how you were? She was surprised to see that you had moved back in" Rebecca replied closing the door behind her

"Oh...okay" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"How about some lunch" Rebecca asked quickly changing the subject

Bucky smiled "Sound good"

Steve walked in to his apartment and slammed the door behind him. He was furious...he couldn't believe that Rebecca was doing this to him again. Not only to him but to Bucky...she had some nerve.

Steve could feel the tears stinging his eyes when he thought back on how everything between Bucky and he family went down. From the day Bucky brought Steve to meet his family and proclaim his love for him and all his parents did was shame him and make him feel like there was something wrong with him.

*Flashback*  
"Mom...Dad. This is Steve" Bucky said with a soft smile on his face

"Hello Steve always a pleasure to meet James's friends" Rebecca said with a smile

Bucky shot Steve a nervous glance and cleared his throat "Mom...Dad...umm Steve isn't my friend. He's my boyfriend...I brought him here because I wanted you to me him and vise versa"

It was then that the smiles on Bucky's parents face vanished and turned into one of shock and anger.

"No" Rebecca whispered

"No what?" Bucky asked softly

"No son of mine will be in a relationship with another man. My son is to marry and have children...not be sleeping with men" Rebecca replied coldly

"Agreed. What will people say about this son. It's wrong" Robert added sternly

"But...you are my parents. You are supposed to be happy for me no matter what. I thought you would be happy for me to find someone to love" Bucky replied tears rolling down his face

"Yes a woman...not some man" Rebecca replied in disgust

"You don't mean that...mom please" Bucky cried softly

"I do so mean it. You stay in this relationship James you might as well leave this house right now" Rebecca replied sternly

Bucky's face grew defiant "Then I guess I'm leaving...I'll grab my things first thing in the morning. Let's go Steve"

"You corrupted my son. How could you do this to us" Rebecca shouted watching Bucky walk away

"No mother he didn't...he just showed you who I truly was. And I was stupid enough to think you would accept it...I guess I was wrong" Bucky replied as he opened the door and slammed it behind him

Steve walked hand in hand with Bucky down the driveway. He could see the hurt and anger in Bucky's face...tears still rolling down his cheeks

"I'm sorry Bucky" Steve whispered softly

Bucky stopped and cupped Steve's face "Don't you dare. You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong...so don't apologize" 

"But your parents just kicked you out" Steve whispered softly

"I don't care...and besides I know a place I can go" Bucky said with a wink

"Bucky do you want to move in with me?" Steve asked softly

"Gee I would have never imagined you would ask me that?" Bucky replied sarcastically

"Your a jerk" Steve replied with a grin

"But you love me Stevie...now come here and plant one on me" Bucky replied as he and Steve closed the gap between them with a passionate kiss

"I love you Steve...always" Bucky whispered upon breaking the kiss

"And forever" Steve replied with a smile  
*End Flashback

Steve wiped the tears flowing down his face and looked down at his wedding ring.

"I won't lose you Bucky. Not again...I'll be damned if I let them take you from me again" Steve whispered softly


	12. Just Like Old Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Bed Quickie lol

"Bucky smiled as his mother placed a plate in front of him. According to her it was his favorite dish cream chicken with mashed potatoes

"You would love when I would make this for you. I loved seeing the smile on your face when you would bite into it" Rebecca said with a smile

Bucky smiled softly as his mother began to eat...Bucky on the other hand gazed at his food.

"Are you not hungry?" Rebecca asked softly

"Mom...I need to ask you something. And I want you to be honest with me" Bucky whispered softly

Rebecca swallowed softly "Of course"

"Why would you say Steve corrupted me? I mean he's my husband...why would he do something like that?" Bucky asked locking his gaze on his mother

"Oh James...I...don't know how to explain this to you" Rebecca replied with a frown

"Just try" Bucky replied softly

"You became an entirely different person when you met Steve. You used to be so determined and had such a future ahead of you. And well when Steve walked into the picture it was as if all that went out the window. You let him replace what was important to you" Rebecca replied softly

"That's no reason to say he corrupted me. Mom the past few days I spent with him he was nothing but kind and patient...I didn't even know who he was and with no questions asked he showed me nothing but love and kindness" Bucky replied faintly

"I figured as much...he would do anything to keep you trapped in that apartment" Rebecca replied with a scoff 

"I don't understand how you can dislike him so much" Bucky replied getting a bit frustrated

It was then that Bucky's mother stood from her chair "I don't think I want to talk about this anymore...I think I'll go upstairs for a while"

"Mom...I just__" Bucky was not allowed to finish as his mother turned her back and made her way upstairs

*Later on that afternoon*  
Bucky sat in his room still thinking back on the discussion between him and his mother. He couldn't help but feel like she wasn't being truthful. Another thing Bucky couldn't help but constantly think about was where his father was. This whole entire time Bucky had been home he had not once seen his father. 

Bucky walked to his nightstand and opened it. He looked in and saw that the journal that was there the first time he came home was gone. 

"That's odd...I know I left it behind" Bucky thought to himself

Bucky was about to lie down until he heard a sudden tapping on his window. Bucky ignored it and thought he was just hearing things.

Bucky got up from his bed and was about to walk out until there was the tapping again. Bucky finally decided to check what it was...Bucky opened his curtain only to see Steve waving at him

Bucky's eyes grew wide and quickly opened his window. Bucky felt the cool brisk air hit him as he opened the window.

"Steve...what the hell are you doing?" Bucky asked softly

"I came to see you...I miss you. Not only that I kinda wanted to take you out" Steve replied with a smile

"Why not ring the doorbell like a normal person would?" Bucky asked with a chuckle

"Where's the fun in that. So Bucky...will you go out with me?" Steve asked with a smile

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes "Give me few minuets and I'll be right there"

Steve smiled he would see Bucky even if it meant sneaking him out just like old times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't really know how to do the whole link thing but in my story  
> My Bucky looks like this:http://i.imgur.com/jXPnj62.jpg  
> And of course Stevie :https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/549147826895470592/SWQGpiuP.jpeg


	14. First Time For Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoying this day with a lovely update

"So how did you manage to sneak out" Steve said as Bucky made his way towards him with a soft smile

"Well lucky for me Jax was asleep...if not he would totally be here. And well I told my mom I was going for a walk around the neighborhood. She didn't ask questions...just kinda kept quiet...I guess she was still a little mad about earlier" Bucky replied walking beside Steve

"Upset? About what?" Steve asked with a raised brow

Bucky sighed "Well I started asking her questions about you know...us. She didn't really want to talk about it much. I kept pressing her for answers and she just got frustrated and walked away"

Steve stayed silent and glanced at Bucky "I'm sorry to hear that"

Bucky shrugged "It's okay"

"Well since you were brave enough to come with me...where would you like to go" Steve asked softly

"You know a cup of coffee sounds wonderful right about now. This cold weather really needs to go away already" Bucky replied softly

"You always..." Steve was cut off

"I always say that...yes I know" Bucky replied with a warm smile

Bucky and Steve soon found themselves walking into the coffee shop. Bucky smiled feeling the warmth of the shop and the aroma of coffee hitting his nose.

"Oh my god...Bucky. Man how have you been?" A male voice said at the counter

Bucky gave a look of confusion "My apologies...do...do I know you" 

"It's Newman man...come on don't play around" Newman replied with a chuckle

"Look I'm sorry I don't know you...see things is I was in an accident or so I was told" Bucky replied softly

"I know I heard...I'm glad to see you doing okay" Newman replied softly

"Well I kinda lost some important memories...so please don't feel bad that I don't remember who you are" Bucky replied softly

Steve couldn't help but glance at Bucky in awe at how he handled the situation instead of running away like the first time.

"No worries Buck...look just get well soon. Oh hey by the way...is this your husband?" Newman asked softly glancing at Steve

Bucky looked back at Steve and smiled softly "Yeah...this is my husband"

"Steve...nice to meet you" Steve replied with a firm handshake

"Likewise...well enjoy the coffee guys its on the house" Newman said with a smile

"Thank you" Bucky replied with a smile

"I owe you anyway Bucky" Newman replied with a smile

Bucky and Steve with coffee in hand walked to a small table in the back away from others and took a seat.

"You introduced me as your husband...instead of Steve" Steve said with a huge smile

Bucky smiled shyly "Well you are...aren't you?"

"Always" Steve replied with a smile

"So...I've only been gone half a day and already miss me" Bucky replied with a crooked smile

Steve rolled his eyes "Yes okay...I do. I can't be without you around me...I'm just used to it. I love being around you"

"Steve don't take this the wrong way...but your kind of a cheeseball" Bucky replied holding back his laughter

Steve glared at Bucky playfully "Oh really now...you lose your memory and now I'm to much of a cheese ball for you" 

"Maybe...I don't know for sure yet" Bucky replied with a smile

Steve set his coffee down and reached out for Bucky's hands...for the first time Bucky didn't tense at the touch. In fact he welcomed it feeling so relaxed with the warmth of Steve's hands.

"You don't know how happy you make me whenever I see that smile on your face" Steve whispered softly

Bucky smiled "Cheeseball"

After leaving the coffee shop Bucky and Steve went for a walk in the park. It felt like just like times before the accident when Bucky and Steve would sit on the park bench and watch couples pass by and just enjoy being in each others company. The last time they came to the park Bucky seemed so lost and uncomfortable...now he was happy and relaxed.

"So how's being home so far...despite the argument with your mom?" Steve asked

"Quiet...I've just been in my room the whole time. I don't mind it...in fact it's rather peaceful. I like to find things in my room and look at pictures that could maybe help me remember things" Bucky replied softly

"Well that's good" Steve replied softly

"What's it like not having me home" Bucky asked with a smile

"Torture" Steve replied with a playful groan

"Oh come on it can't be that bad. I'm pretty sure it must be nice not to be waiting on me hand and foot like before" Bucky replied with a soft smile

"Waiting on you hand and foot never bothered me" Steve replied softly

Bucky chewed his lip nervously as he glanced at Steve. He had the most beautiful blue eyes.

"Never...I mean not even once" Bucky asked softly

"Not even ever" Steve replied leaning in closely. His face inches away from Bucky.

"Steve? What's happening right now?" Bucky asked his breath a little shaky

"I don't know...but never in my life have I ever wanted to kiss you so badly" Steve whispered his tone deep and rich

Bucky's eyes grew wide...he didn't know how to quite register that.

"I'm sorry Bucky...but that's how I feel right now. I know that I can't kiss you but I just had to tell you" Steve whispered sadly

Bucky cocked his head to the side "Steve"

"Yeah Buck" Steve replied softly

"Who told you that you couldn't kiss me" Bucky replied softly

Steve perked up and locked eyes with Bucky. Steve leaned and captured Bucky's lips in a passionate kiss...it was the kind of kiss you give someone that you've had building up deep down inside. Bucky whimpered softly into the kiss...Steve's lips were so warm and soft. Sure he tried kissing Steve when he first got out of the hospital but this was different. The kiss from the hospital was one of desperation and he felt nothing...this kiss...oh this kiss he felt tingling all over and a sensation building between the two of them that was quite delicious.

Bucky parted his lips and allowed Steve's tongue access and soon both tongues were in a dance with each other. It was kinda of getting a little too powerful so Bucky placed his hand on Steve's chest and pushed him away making Steve break the kiss.

"I'm..I'm sorry" Steve said out of breath from the kiss his lips raw and red

Bucky swallowed. His lips the same as Steve's plump and red from such a powerful kiss

"I was to forward...I should have kept it simple" Steve replied 

Bucky reached out for Steve's hand "Don't apologize...I liked it. In a way since the accident that was our first kiss"

Steve smiled and pressed his forehead against Bucky's "Well you know they always say there is a first time for everything"

Bucky smiled "I guess so. Look I better head back home...will you accompany me back"

"I'd love nothing more" Steve replied a smile

Bucky and Steve got up from the bench and began to make their way back to Bucky's house.


	15. Always

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My morning update.
> 
> Also I went to see Crimson Peak last night...holy fuck balls amazing movie...still recovering
> 
> Anywho...here's an update

"Thank you for taking me out...it was nice" Bucky whispered softly

"Your welcome...maybe we can do it again sometime" Steve replied with a warm smile

"Well...I'd better head in there" Bucky replied turning to leave

It was then that Bucky was stopped by Steve grabbing at his hand and pulling him close.

"Can I kiss you one more time" Steve asked softly

Bucky chuckled softly and leaned in and kissed Steve's cheek "If we do that again...I won't make it inside"

Steve sighed softly "Alright...well goodbye Bucky"

"Bye Steve" Bucky replied as he turned his back and headed inside home

Bucky walked in and sighed softly. His back pressed against the door...what was happening?

"That was some stroll through the neighborhood" Rebecca said from the top of the stairs 

Bucky jumped hearing her voice "Yeah I bumped into some very nice people. They said they were friends of the family and well since I've lost my memory I wanted to talk to them longer and ask them questions.

"Well that sounds nice" Rebecca said with a smile

"Mom...I have a question" Bucky asked softly

"Of course" Rebecca asked with a smile

"Why haven't I seen Dad? I mean where is he?" Bucky asked softly

Rebecca's smiled faded and one of sadness appeared...but she quickly recovered "Your father is away on business...he should be back soon I promise. Then I'm sure he will be happy to see you again James"

Bucky didn't say a word and just smiled softly.

*Next Day*  
Bucky sat in his room with Jax as he looked through photos he found in a box in his closet. Photos of him as a young child, his mother holding him, then pictures of him with a group of people who he assumed to be friends. 

"James I'm heading out to run some errands...I might be home late. How about you come with me...get out of this room for a bit" Rebecca said with a smile

"Oh no mom I'm fine...I think I'll just stay in I'm kinda sleepy so I might take a nap" Bucky replied with a smile

"Are you sure?" Rebecca asked 

"Positive" Bucky replied softly

"Alright well call me if you need anything. My cell number is right by the house phone" Rebecca replied as she smiled and walked out the door.

About a ten minuets passed when Bucky's mom left and it was then Bucky heard the doorbell ring. Bucky got up from his bed and made his way downstairs slowly...Bucky made his way towards the door and placed his hand on the knob and turned it.

"Hey beautiful" a voice said softly

"Steve? What are you doing here?" Bucky asked softly

"I came to you see. I waited until your mother left so I could come to the door" Steve replied with a smile

Bucky gave a crooked smile "Well then would you like to come inside"

"I would love to" Steve replied softly

"I've always hated how quite in gets in your house. Sometimes it can be kinda of creepy" Steve said following behind Bucky

"I don't mind it...it's kind of nice" Bucky said making his way upstairs

"So why didn't you want to go with your mom" Steve asked softly

"Well to be honest...sounded boring. I mean who wants to run errands all day long" Bucky replied softly

Steve couldn't help but laugh as he and Bucky went into Bucky's room. Steve took a seat on the bed and found the pictures Bucky was looking at prior before Steve getting there.

"Wow I haven't seen these pictures in forever. Are they helping with jogging your memory at all?" Steve asked softly

"Not really...just makes me want to ask more questions? I really wish this was all over you know...that I would wake up one morning and my memory would be back" Bucky replied with a frown

"You will...it might not be all your memories but you'll get them back and make new ones. And I"ll be here to help you with everything you need...I promise" Steve replied with a warm smile

Bucky smiled "How do you always know the right words to say. Do you have some cards somewhere and you memorize them before you get here"

Steve laughed "No...I just have a way with words I guess"

Bucky smiled seeing Steve laugh...it made his heart flutter. Bucky reached his hand out slowly and placed his hand on Steve's cheek.

"Your always so warm" Bucky whispered softly caressing Steve's cheek

Steve closed his eyes and relished in Bucky's touch. He missed this...all of this. Yesterday when they kissed it felt like he was complete again...like it was just him and Bucky no one else in the world existed. 

"Does it bother you that I'm so warm all the time" Steve asked softly

Bucky shook his head "No...it just makes me want to touch you more"

Steve smiled "Well I don't mind"

Bucky smiled softly and brought Steve's face close and their lips met again for another passionate kiss. Bucky moaned into the kiss...he loved the warmth of softness that was Steve. Steve...his husband Steve. Steve took a chance and placed his hand on Bucky's chest and pushed him gently making him lean back into his bed. Lips still locked together and tongues fighting for dominance. 

Steve heard a whine and looked down.

Steve walked to the door and opened it "Sorry Jax we just need a little personal time"

Jax whined and walked out. Once Jax was out Steve rushed back to Bucky and they began to kiss once again.

Bucky felt his body tingling all over...his heart racing and skin reacting to every touch Steve placed on his skin. It was then that Steve broke the kiss...once again both of them breathless. Steve looked down at Bucky below him...strands of his hair in his face. His lips plump and red from sharing another powerful kiss...blue eyes glowing with wonder.

"I don't know if we should continue Bucky...I mean I'm not sure" Steve whispered softly

Bucky looked up at Steve with confusion.

"I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you...you know given with your condition" Steve replied softly 

Slowly Steve began to pull away until Bucky gripped at Steve's arm "No...please" 

Steve looked down at Bucky "Bucky I don't..."

"I want you to...please" Bucky whispered softly

Steve smiled down at Bucky and didn't say another word just caught his lips in another kiss. Bucky began to work on Steve's jacket slowly sliding it down his broad shoulders. Steve removed the rest of the jacket and let it fall on the floor beside Bucky's bed. Once his jacket was removed Steve removed his own shirt and tossed it to the side.

Bucky couldn't help but gasp...Steve was so beautiful. Inside and out Steve was beautiful.

"You like what you see there Bucky" Steve asked with a smile

Bucky blushed and turned his head to the side. Steve touched Bucky's face and made his turn his head back.

"It's okay you can look...I'm yours after all remember" Steve whispered lacing their hands that bared their wedding rings together.

Steve leaned down and captured Bucky's lips once again in a sweet kiss. 

Once after all their clothes were slowly removed and Bucky got over his shyness. Steve found himself atop of Bucky once again gazing at him lovingly. Bucky loved how warm their skin felt against each other and he loved how perfect Steve fit between his legs. It was just amazing.

"Once again are you sure about this" Steve asked letting his hand snake down between Bucky's legs and down into a very private area

Bucky gasped "Just shut up and do it"

Steve gave an almost primal groan and lifted his hand and placed his fingers on Bucky's lips.

"I want you to suck them Bucky" Steve said in a deep tone

Bucky swallowed...just hearing that voice made him feel something powerful shoot right straight to his groin. Without question Bucky took Steve's fingers in his mouth and sucked on them gently letting his tongue wrap around them. Steve hissed at the feeling...Bucky always was gifted with his tongue.

Once Bucky felt they were good enough he parted his lips slowly and let Steve remove his finger. Steve then once again let his hand make its way down Bucky's lower belly his eyes still locked onto Bucky's.

"Steve please" Bucky whispered softly

Steve groaned softly and then let one finger slip inside Bucky making Bucky moan out softly. Steve waited a moment for Bucky to relax and then slipped another finger inside Bucky making moan louder and his body react.

"Like that" Steve whispered softly

Bucky whimpered softly and then began to moan feeling Steve moving his finger in an out of Bucky. 

"Ohh god...Steve more" Bucky moaned his hands clutching onto Steve's huge biceps. 

Steve began to move slowly and then faster making Bucky moan and his body arch in such a lovely way.

"Please Steve I want you...please" Bucky moaned softly

Steve growled out and removed his fingers and positioned himself between Bucky. Steve locked eyes with Bucky and bit his lower lips...what was about Bucky always looking so fucking beautiful in the throes of passion. Slowly ever so slowly Steve began to slip inside Bucky.

"Ohh...ohh christ" Bucky groaned out feeling Steve fill him up so perfectly 

"Shit Bucky...you always feel so fucking wonderful" Steve whispered into Bucky's ear

"Such a dirty mouth" Bucky whispered seductively letting his hands roam Steve's powerful back

Finally with one last thrust Steve and a loud cry from Bucky Steve was deep inside of Bucky. Bucky slowly wrapped his legs around Steve's waist and locked them as if to hold on for dear life. Steve began slow dance between them his thrust slow but deep...hitting the very core that was Bucky.

"Ohh god...please more" Bucky whispered in ecstasy

"Patience is a virtue Bucky" Steve replied softly as he thrust deep inside Bucky

"Ahh ohh...well I don't have...mmm alot of that" Bucky moaned out 

"I can see that" Steve replied leaning down and licking at Bucky's beautiful exposed neck

"Oh fuck" Bucky groaned out

"Oh who's got a dirty mouth now" Steve asked with a chuckle

"You know what...your a" Bucky was cut off by Steve's thrust becoming faster and more powerful

"Ohh god...fuck fuck uhh" Bucky cried out

"I'm a what? I didn't catch that" Steve replied with a smirk

Bucky glared at Steve and then shut his eyes feeling Steve thrusting into him again with such primal need and passion. Bucky loved the look of concentration in Steve's face...the way his muscles moved with every thrust and the way his beautiful lips parted every time he felt Bucky's hands on his back. 

Steve's thrust became frantic and Bucky's breathing became ragged "Oh fuck Bucky...I think I'm close"

"Ohhh Steve me too...harder please harder" Bucky cried out

"Ohh fuck Bucky...I love you baby...I love you so much" Steve cried out pounding into Bucky. Shivering as he felt Bucky's nails raking down his spine

Bucky's didn't know what to say and just whimpered feeling his orgasm approaching at full power. Finally with one last hard and deep thrust Steve came deep inside Bucky and Bucky coming on Steve's stomach as he bit into Steve's shoulder. Steve collapsed between Buck and tried his best to catch his breath...but it didn't seem he had much time too when he heard that all to familiar voice.

"James I'm home...are you here" Rebecca called out from downstairs

Bucky and Steve locked eyes with one another "SHIT!!!"


	16. Those Three Little Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rainy day= Updates  
> Sorry I took a while...work has been killer and got a one year old to chase after

"James? Are you here?" Rebecca called out once more

Steve and Bucky gave each other nervous glares 

"Shit...what are we going to do? She's going to flip if she sees you here?" Bucky whispered harshly

"What? Why? I'm your husband...shouldn't I be allowed to be here" Steve replied sternly

"Are you kidding me right now?" Bucky replied with a scoff as he slid on his jeans

"I have to get you out of here" Bucky added frantically

"Where am I supposed to go?" Steve asked sliding on his jeans 

Bucky looked towards his bedroom window biting on his lower lip and looked back at Steve with a nervous smile.

"Oh no...no way. I am not jumping out your bedroom window. In case you haven't noticed you do live in a two story home" Steve replied with a glare

"Fuck" Bucky replied in frustration

It was then the footsteps were getting closer...almost at the top of the stairs.

"Quick under the bed...now" Bucky replied pushing Steve 

"Are you serious? I don't think I can fit under there" Steve replied softly

"Try" Bucky replied still pushing Steve

"This is insane" Steve replied as he tried his best to squeeze underneath Bucky's bed and finally with a groan achieved getting his body fully under the bed.

Bucky rushed to his bed and got underneath the covers and shut his eyes. 

"James? Oh I didn't mean to wake you. I guess that answers why you didn't respond to me calling you" Rebecca said sticking her head in the room

Bucky opened his eyes slowly and stretched " Mom...when did you get back?"

Rebecca chuckled softly "A little while ago"

It was then that Rebecca was shoved out of the way by Jax busting inside the door and running towards the bed.

"Oh Jax wait" Bucky cried out 

It was too late Jax jumped atop of the bed his massive body almost making the mattress collapse.

"Sorry Steve" Bucky thought chewing on his lower lip 

Steve bit his lower lip under the bed trying to hold in the pain of Jax jumping on the bed. The pressure of the jump crushing him a little and leaving him a little winded

"So what did you do while I was out running errands?" Rebecca asked softly

Bucky's eyes scanned the room nervously "Oh nothing just stayed in and slept. Hung out with Jax for a little while"

It was then Bucky's eyes caught sight of Steve's shirt on the floor by the closet.

"Shit...I thought I gave him everything" Bucky thought with a nervous look

Bucky kept his eyes locked on the shirt as his mother continued to talk and ask questions.

He had to cut this short...plus he still had to get Steve out of here.

"Um mom...listen I think I want to take a shower. If you don't mind" Bucky said with a soft smile

"Oh okay...well while you shower how about I start with dinner" Rebecca said with a smile 

"Sounds great" Bucky said getting up from the bed and walking him mother to the door.

While her back was turned bent over quickly and picked up Steve's shirt and held it behind his back with a soft smile.

"I'll see you downstairs" Rebecca smiled as Bucky nodded and closed the door behind him.

Once the door was closed and locked Bucky turned around.

"Jax get off" Bucky said trying to keep a straight face

Jax barked loudly as Bucky shooed him off. A groan could be heard from underneath the bed as Jax jumped off the bed.

"Jax...I hate you" Steve said poking his head from underneath the bed 

Bucky couldn't help but chuckle "Come on I have to get you out of here"

Steve smiled softly.

"Here I believe this belongs to you" Bucky said handing Steve his shirt.

After getting fully dressed Bucky poked his head out the door to scan the hall. Once given the signal to follow Steve followed behind Bucky. It was then that Bucky passed his mother's room and saw the light was on. 

"She's in her room...hurry up come on" Bucky said sternly 

Steve and Bucky rushed down the stairs with Jax right behind them.

"We should do this again. It's very exciting" Steve said with a smile

"In your dreams...now leave" Bucky said with a crooked smile

"I love you Bucky" Steve said softly 

"James" Rebecca was heard

"I have to go" Bucky replied as he pushed Steve out the door and closed it

Steve stood there for a minuet and began to walk away 

Why couldn't Bucky said I love you back...during them making love he couldn't say and then now

Did he do something wrong?


	17. Speechless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated lately work has been busy busy  
> But I have a lovely day off so   
> update time

"You at least owe it to him Robert. He is your son" Rebecca said from inside her room

Bucky had just made his way upstairs with Jax right behind him when he heard his mother's voice come from inside her room. She sounded upset and frustrated.

"I know we had our differences during our marriage...but that doesn't mean you have to take it out on him as well" Rebecca said sternly

Bucky couldn't help but listen quietly placing his ear to the door. Jax whined softly and looked up at Bucky with huge puppy eyes.

"Oh don't you judge me. I don't eavesdrop...a lot" Bucky replied with a crooked smile

"Could you at least join us for dinner tonight. Please Robert you owe him that" Rebecca replied 

Oh I'm being hypocritical...that's rich" Rebecca replied with a scoff

"Listen I don't have time for this Robert. I'm asking nicely please just once do this for me" Rebecca replied softly

"Thank you" Rebecca replied softly

Then after releasing a frustrated sigh Rebecca began to make her way towards her door. Bucky heard the footsteps approaching and made his way towards his bedroom quickly with Jax right behind him. 

Quickly Bucky got inside his room and closed the door behind him and quickly sat on his bed. Jax made his way to the middle of the room and sat there.

Soon Bucky saw his doorknob turn and his mother poke her head in with a soft smile 

"Would you like to help me make dinner tonight? Your father is coming back from business today" Rebecca said with a smile

Bucky looked down at Jax and then back to his mother "Sure"

*Meanwhile*  
Steve turned the key in the lock and walked into his apartment. He was still trying to comprehend why Bucky couldn't say I love you back...even after they had just made love. Was he to quick on being intimate with Bucky? Did he say something wrong? What was it?

Steve sat on the couch and sighed "I'm going to lose my mind"

It was then that Steve looked up and his gaze locked on a framed image that sat on the coffee table in the living room. In the image it was Bucky and Steve celebrating Steve's birthday. Steve smiled recalling that day...he had no clue Bucky would throw him a surprise party.

*Flashback*  
"Where are we going Buck?" Steve asked as he was all but being dragged by Bucky 

"If I told you that then it wouldn't be as fun" Bucky replied with a smile

"What are you talking about?" Steve asked confused

"Will ya stop being so nosy and just come on already" Bucky replied as he stopped in the front of huge doors

"Bucky where are we?" Steve asked softly

"Some place special Stevie" Bucky whispered before placing a sweet kiss on Steve's lips

It was then that Bucky opened the doors.

"SURPRISE" A group of friends and Steve's family yelled out

"Are you kidding me right now" Steve replied with a huge smile

"Did you do this?" Steve asked softly

"I'm the husband of course I did this" Bucky replied with a smile

"I love you Buck" Steve whispered pulling Bucky into his arms

"I love you too" Bucky replied as he kissed Steve sweetly   
*End Flashback*

"I need to know why" Steve said to himself as he made his way out of the apartment and back to Bucky's

Bucky began to help his mother prepare dinner and watched his mother in almost a trance like state. His mother looked nervous...like something was bothering her and he just didn't understand why?

"Mom? Is something wrong?" Bucky asked faintly

Rebecca stopped from chopping up some vegetables and looked up at her son "No I'm alright. Why would you ask?"

"I don't know...it just seems as if something is bothering you. I mean if you want to talk about it...we can" Bucky replied softly

"Oh don't worry I'm fine. Just want to get everything finished up before your father gets home" Rebecca replied with a soft smile

"Mom? I need to ask you something" Bucky whispered softly

Rebecca looked to her son once more. Her eyes read exhaustion.

Bucky was about to open his mouth before the doorbell rang

Rebecca and Bucky looked at each other as they made their way towards the door.

Rebecca inhaled a deep breath and wiped her palms on her apron before opening the door.

"Rebecca. James." a deep voice said softly

"Robert...so happy you are home" Rebecca said hugging Robert

Bucky just stood there and looked at this man. He was tall and somewhat intimidating in stature.

"James aren't you going to welcome your father back home?" Robert said softly

Bucky snapped out of his daze and smiled softly. He didn't know if it was his nerves but something was preventing him from moving...like he had a fear of this man and he didn't even know him.

Robert smiled softly and took it upon himself to hug Bucky. Bucky stiffed at the touch.

"It's nice to see you again son" Robert said with a smile

Bucky smiled softly and nodded his head.

"Dinner is almost ready. So come on inside already" Rebecca said softly

Robert walked in and hung his coat by the door. Rebecca and Robert made their way to the dining room while Bucky stayed standing by the door. After snapping out of his trance once again Bucky began to make his way to the dining room as well. 

Bucky was almost there until the doorbell rang. Bucky gave a confused glance towards the door and made his way to answer it.

Bucky walked up to the door and turned the knob. It was then that Bucky could have sworn his heart skipped a few beats once the door was opened

"Steve? What are you doing here?"


	18. They Say Timing Is Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween Folks  
> Updating before I celebrate the Halloween Day With  
> My Little man...Everyone Hope You Have A Good One  
> BOO Y'ALL

"We need to talk Buck" Steve said softly

Bucky looked over his shoulder towards the dining area "I don't think now is a good time"

"Are you kidding me right now?" Steve asked sternly

Bucky gave a nervous sigh "Can't you just come back later...please"

"Damn it Bucky this is important" Steve replied sharply

Bucky bit his lower lip and placed a hand on Steve's chest pushing him gently towards the front step.

"Fine...talk but make it quick" Bucky replied firmly

"Are you serious right now? What's wrong with you?" Steve asked his voice sounded a bit defeated

"Look I told you now is not a good time. But since you are so stubborn and won't listen...then whatever you have to say you better make it quick" Bucky replied crossing his arms

Steve was hurt by this. He had never seen Bucky like this...nor had Bucky every treated him this way. Something was off and Steve wanted to know what is was.

"What are you being like this? Did I do something wrong?" Steve asked sadly

"What are you talking about?" Bucky asked confused moving a strand of hair from his face

"Well you are kinda treating me like I don't matter at the moment. And well I am your husband and I do deserve to know why I'm being treated like this?" Steve asked softly

"I told you why? Is this why you came over here" Bucky asked sternly

"Tell me you love me Bucky" Steve said softly

Bucky facial expression turned from a look of frustration into a look of sheer sadness "Steve...I"

"You what?" Steve asked softly

"Can't we please just talk about this later. It's just well not only is my mom in there...but so is my dad" Bucky replied softly

"Robert? Your father Robert?" Steve asked surprised

"Yeah....wait why are you so surprised?" Bucky asked softly

"It's just well...you know what never mind. Look just forget I came over okay" Steve said sadly

Steve was about to turn to walk away until he felt Bucky's hand reach out and catch him arm.

"You come here asking me questions....but yet you can't answer mine. I don't see how that's fair...I don't know or remember a lot. Doesn't anyone remember that I was in an accident or does everyone just want to pretend like it never happened" 

Steve locked eyes with Bucky. Those damn eyes that had such a passion in them...Steve could just get lost looking into them.

"If you want the answer to that question maybe you should go in there and talk to your parents" Steve replied softly

Bucky growled in frustration "Why can't you just tell me? What's everyone so afraid of? What do you think I can't handle it? Does everyone think just because I lost my memory that I should be treated like some small child? Because quiet frankly I'm getting just a little tired of everyone walking on eggshells around me" 

Steve didn't say a word and just stood there in silence.

"You know something? Don't you? Why won't you tell me? I mean I'm your husband right? Shouldn't you be honest with me?" Bucky asked sadly

"Like I said....talk to your parents" Steve replied softly

"Ugh enough of this shit...you aren't going anywhere your coming inside with me" Bucky said dragging Steve by the arm

"Bucky what are you doing? You said you didn't want me around when your mom is here" Steve replied nervously

"I can give two shits less...I need to know what is going on and I need to know now" Bucky replied sternly as he pulled Steve in the house and slammed the door behind him

"James? The food is going to get cold...come eat" Rebecca called out from the dining room

It was then that Bucky appeared with Steve right behind him. Bucky's hand firmly gripped on Steve's arm.

"What is he doing here?" Rebecca asked coldly

"He came on his own. I told him to come inside" Bucky replied softly

"Well I don't want him here" Rebecca replied softly her voice still cold

"Well I do...I need answers and I need them now" Bucky replied sternly

"What did you tell him this time Steven" Rebecca replied harshly

"I didn't tell him anything...I'll leave that to you" Steve replied with a cocked eyebrow

"Will you both just shut up and tell me the truth" Bucky yelled out in frustration

"I've been nothing but honest with you James" Rebecca replied softly

"Rebecca enough" Robert replied sternly

Rebecca glanced over at Robert her eyes like daggers "Your words mean nothing here Robert"

Robert stood from his seat and walked up to Bucky a look of sadness in his eyes.

"I was never away at business son" Robert said softly

"Don't you say another word Robert" Rebecca said angrily

"I said enough Rebecca. If telling him the truth will make things better for us...so be it" Robert replied looking at Bucky with a soft smile

"Me and your mother are no longer together. After you left...well after we told you to leave our marriage began to fall apart. I felt anger towards her as she did with me....I blamed her for you being the way you were because she was to lenient with you. She blamed me because I was never around as much as I should have" Robert replied softly

"Why would you tell me to leave? What did I do wrong?" Bucky asked softly

"Because you fell in love" Robert replied softly

Bucky gave a confused look "I don't understand"

Robert sighed softly "You fell in love...but we didn't approve of who you fell in love with. We were upset and embarrassed that our son fell in love...with a man. I realize how stupid I was...I should have been more understanding. But all I saw when I looked at you was my little boy who I raised and played with and I was hurt. I know your mother felt the same way"

"So you kicked me out because I wasn't the man you want me to be" Bucky replied his voice breaking

"Yes. After that I like I said your mother blamed each other...so I left and it wasn't till now that I've come back" Robert replied softly

"I heard her...she had to practically beg you to come back. Why? Didn't you want to see me? Do I mean that little to you" Bucky asked in tears

"I've remarried and well my other family doesn't really know about you and your mother that much. I thought I could make a fresh start and be the father I know I could be" Robert replied softly

Bucky chuckled lightly "So you'd rather pretend I don't exist so that way you could be a better father to someone else than you were to me. Tell me do your children know how much of a jerk you are? That you pretty much abandoned your own son because he was gay." 

Robert didn't say a word.

"ANSWER ME DAMN IT" Bucky yelled out

"No they don't know" Robert replied softly

Bucky looked towards his mother "And you couldn't tell me this? All I ever wanted was the truth and you lied. You lied so you could try to mold me into the son you wanted me to be. That's you didn't Steve here...that's why you tried to take me away from him. This was chance wasn't it?"

"It's not like that James...not at all. I just thought that maybe...this could be my second chance to make things right" Rebecca replied tears rolling down her cheek

"By lying" Bucky whispered softly

"What else should I know?" Bucky asked softly

Uncomfortable silence filled the air.

"You know when Steve told me that I wanted nothing to do with either of you I thought he was insane. When he told me that my parents weren't exactly kind people I thought maybe he had you all wrong. I never knew how painfully right he was...I think I should go" Bucky whispered softly

"Please don't leave James" Rebecca begged softly

"It's funny you know even though everything has been said and done...I can't hate you. I never could...your my parents. It's just all I ever wanted was the truth and to be treated like I mattered. I just wanted you to be there for me...its just sad that I had to almost die for you to come around. And even then...I just don't know. Maybe when your ready to accept me and not lie I believe things will get better" 

Bucky walked towards the door and grabbed his coat...of course Jax followed right behind him as he walked out the front door. 

"You did this...you alway ruin everything. He was happy...why couldn't you just left it alone" Rebecca said in anger

"I didn't do anything. He found out on his own. As far as him being happy...how could you truly know when all you did was lie to him" Steve replied as he rushed towards the door to catch up with Bucky

"It was bound to come out Rebecca. We couldn't lie anymore" Robert replied softly

"Get out of my house...just go" Rebecca replied softly 

Robert walked towards the door and then nothing but silence was heard when he walked out.

"Bucky please wait" Steve called out catching up to Bucky and Jax who were half way down the block already

Bucky ignored Steve and kept on walking.

"I said hang on a minuet" Steve said reaching out and grabbing Bucky by the hand

"Don't" Bucky said pulling his hand away from Steve

"Bucky please" Steve whispered softly

"No. All I ever wanted was the truth. Not only from them but from you. I told you no matter what it was I just wanted the truth even if you felt it was hard to hear just tell me. But you didn't...you held it back from me. You say your my husband...husbands don't hold the truth from each other" Bucky replied softly

"I don't know what to say...I just didn't want to hurt you" Steve replied softly

"I'd rather you tell me the truth then feel like I'm not capable of handling it. If it hurt me so be it. I'm sorry Steve...I just don't know if I can trust you. And as far as you wanting to know if I love you...well how can I love someone who isn't honest" Bucky replied softly

Steve felt his heart shatter into pieces.

"Goodbye Steve" Bucky whispered as he turned his back and began to walk away 

"Come on Jax...let's go someplace warm okay" Bucky said softly

Jax gave a sad look towards Steve as he began to follow right behind Bucky.

Steve felt like he couldn't move. All he had was Bucky...he was the only person in the world that meant anything to him and he felt like he just lost him. Bucky was his heart...how was he supposed to live without his heart.


	19. Always and Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick Update Before Work ;]

Steve walked upstairs and made his way towards his apartment door. Steve sighed softly and lifted his hand to place his key in the lock...it was then that he heard a voice come from inside his apartment. 

"Great this is the last thing I need" Steve mumbled to himself

Steve slowly unlocked the door and quietly opened it. With feline like movement Steve walked in and shut the door behind him quietly. He slowly made his way towards the kitchen where he heard noises. Steve took a deep breath and quickly rushed into the kitchen.

"JESUS CHRIST" a voice said in surprise followed by the sound of glass shattering on the floor

Steve froze "Bucky? Oh my God what are you doing here?"

"I...I didn't know where else to go. I walked the streets for a while and well I just felt it was right to come here. If you don't want me here I will leave" Bucky whispered softly

"No...no I don't want you to go. I was just surprised that you would come here after what happen at your parent's house" Steve replied softly

"Look I'm sorry I got upset with you...it's just I was a bit overcome with emotions" Bucky replied sadly

"No don't apologize. It was stupid of me to hold the truth from you...its just the last thing I ever wanted to do to you Bucky is hurt you" Steve replied with a soft smile

"I know and that's why I'm apologizing. You know ever since I left that hospital you were nothing but kind and loving to me...and I'm forever grateful" Bucky replied taking a few steps toward Steve

"Of course Bucky...I would do anything for you. I love you" Steve whispered softly

Bucky smiled softly and raised his hand slowly and caressed Steve's face "I love you too"

Steve's eyes grew wide and he locked eyes with his husband...his Bucky. He felt his heart pounding as his ears rang with the words that just left Bucky's mouth.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words leave your lips again" Steve replied softly

Bucky smiled and leaned in closely and without hesitation Steve closed the gap between them with a sweet kiss.

It was then that Bucky pulled away gasped in the kiss and pulled away quickly "It was snowing"

Steve gave a confused look "Well it has been for the past week Bucky...but I think it's letting up"

"No...no. It was snowing and I was freezing cold....but even though I was cold it didn't matter as long as I told you how I felt I could care less" Bucky whispered softly

"Bucky what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?" Steve asked softly

"You told me that you didn't like being made a joke of and I told you that I wasn't making fun of you" Bucky replied softly

"Wait...are you talking about back in college" Steve asked in shock

"I'm not sure...but when we kissed just now I saw something. It was snowing and you were upset" Bucky replied softly

"It was our first date in college. I will never forget that night...I remember being so nervous. I kinda got upset because you said you knew that I liked you...I guess I felt put on the spot. I left and then even though it was freezing cold you followed right after me and told me that you liked me too. We shared a kiss in front___" Steve was cut off

"In front of the college library" Bucky whispered softly

"You remembered that" Steve asked in shock

"I guess that kiss must have sparked something" Bucky replied softly

"Well whatever it did I'm just happy you remembered something from the past" Steve replied softly

"Look how about we just try to unwind after this day. We can just stay in and watch a movie or something" Steve said wrapping his arms around Bucky's waist

"That sounds nice" Bucky replied softly

Steve and Bucky were about to share another kiss until there was a knock heard at the door.

"Look you go pick out a movie and I'll get the door okay" Steve said lifting Bucky's hand and kissing it

"Okay" Bucky whispered as he made his way to the living room where Jax had been snoozing the whole time.

Steve walked towards the door and opened it " What are...what are you doing here?"

Bucky began to look through the DVDs that Steve had and finally chose one. 

"Steve are you coming? I already picked a movie" Bucky called out 

It was then that Steve appeared looking a bit bummed out.

"Steve what's the matter? Are you okay? Who was at the door?" Bucky asked softly

It was then that Steve stepped aside 

"Mom? What are you doing here?" Bucky asked in surprise

Rebecca gave a defiant look "I came to bring you back home James"


	20. Help Me Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Such A Lovely Day Out and that means an update before going out and about

Bucky's eyes narrowed. Steve stepped back a bit he knew that look...being with Bucky as long as he has he knew Bucky was not in the best of mood.

"I'm not going anywhere with you mother" Bucky replied sternly 

"I'm not leaving here until you come with you. Please James just come home and give me the chance to explain myself" Rebecca begged softly

Bucky inhaled a deep breath "Fine explain yourself....but I'm still not going anywhere with you"

"I do not want to talk in front of him" Rebecca retorted pointing to Steve

Bucky reached out for Steve and held his hand "Well that's to bad. Anything you need to say you can say in front of Steve...he is my husband. So anything you need to say you can say it to both of us"

Steve looked over and Bucky he was in awe at how defiant Bucky had become. It seemed not that long ago he was his mother's well behaved little boy...then again he didn't know the truth. 

Rebecca scoffed "Are you proud of yourself Steven?"

Steve gave a look of confusion "Excuse me?"

Rebecca hung her head low "You couldn't let me have my son back...you had to take him from me once again. All I wanted was to have my son back home and your greedy selfish behavior ruined all of that for me. You ruined my family...you did this. If my son would have never met you he would have been home with me or even married with a lovely family"

Steve's mouth hung open in shock. He couldn't believe he was still being blamed for this.

Bucky released Steve's hand and walked right up to Rebecca and stood inches away from her.

"He didn't ruin anything. You did...you couldn't accept for who I was. You couldn't accept your only son being in love...in love with a man no less. So instead you treated me like an embarrassment...like me feeling what I felt was wrong. You kicked me out because you couldn't handle me being with a man...and because you didn't want people to know you had a gay son. Well I'm sorry you feel that way and I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the son you wanted me to be. But to lying to me so you can try to mold me into what you wanted me to be and taking advantage of me losing my memory and telling me lies is...is" 

Bucky couldn't finish and broke into tears. Steve could feel his heart breaking for his husband...for so long Bucky held all of this in and now that he's been through everything it was time he got it off his chest.

Bucky locked eyes with his mother, tears rolling down his face "Why...why can't you just accept me and love me for me. I don't understand why you hate me so much mom"

Rebecca hung her head in shame and began to cry "I do love you James...I just can't accept you being the way you are. You don't know how much it hurts to see your little boy grow up in front of you. The love that you feel is so overwhelming...only to the feel the heartbreak and betrayal when he tells you he's in love with a man"

Bucky sniffed and looked away from his mother "I didn't do this to hurt...I can't help that I feel in love with Steve. Me being gay is not me trying to hurt you mother...but if that's how you feel then I'm sorry that you feel that way. I just want you to know....that no matter what I can't hate you or stop loving you. You are my mother and regardless of everything that has happened I want you in my life...always"

Rebecca couldn't hear anymore and her emotions began to overflow. Without saying another word Rebecca gave one last heartbreaking look at her little boy and walked out of the apartment.

Bucky watched as his mother walked out of his life yet another time.

Steve walked up to Bucky and pulled him into a warm embrace.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked moving a strand of hair from Bucky's face

"I don't know...I just don't know" Bucky replied softly

Bucky got out of the hug and sighed sadly "I think...I think I need to be alone for a while. I'm going to the room"

Steve smiled softly "Okay...call me you me if you need me babe" 

Bucky smiled softly "Okay...Jax you coming?"

Jax barked and of course went straight into the room with Bucky. Steve sighed and watched as Bucky shut the door behind him...it was just like reliving the past all over again. For Bucky it was like picking at a healed scab and going through the pain of healing all over again. The first time this happen it took a while before Bucky could get over it...it was hard for Steve to be so open with his family when Bucky felt like he had none. But Steve's family treated Bucky like one of their own and loved him unconditionally and helped him heal faster.

Steve sighed and couldn't stand leaving Bucky alone and walked straight to the bedroom.

Steve knocked on the door "Bucky? Can I come in?"

Bucky's footsteps could be heard and the door opened.

Steve walked in and smiled "Jax can we have a moment please?"

Jax gave Steve a low growl of frustration after he just got comfortable.

Steve rolled his eyes "You'll live"

Steve watched as Jax walked out and closed the door behind him.

Bucky sat on the bed and hung his head low "Am I a horrible son?"

Steve looked at Bucky "No...why would you say that?"

"I don't know...maybe because my mom doesn't want me" Bucky replied sadly

Steve sat next to Bucky and laced his hand with his "Look you are not a bad son...it's just your mother doesn't know how amazing you truly are. It's sad that it has to come to this...but she's blind if she can't see what an amazing man she raised. You are the most loving and big hearted person I know...and I'm lucky to call you my husband" 

Bucky began to cry " I swear you always know the right words to say"

Steve smiled softly "No...its because I love you so much"

Without speaking another word Bucky pulled Steve into a powerful kiss. His arms wrapping around Steve's neck as he inched closer to Steve's warm body. Steve moaned into the kiss and slowly began to push Bucky back onto the bed.

Steve looked down at his beautiful husband. Even though he was still a bit red from crying he still looked absolutely breathtaking .

"Bucky are you sure you want to do this right now?" Steve whispered placing his hand on Bucky's cheek

"Make me feel better Steve...make me forget all the pain" Bucky whispered softly

Steve locked eyes with Bucky and leaned in and placed a sweet kiss on Bucky's forehead.

"Anything for you" Steve whispered 

Steve caught Bucky's lips in a passionate kiss. In this moment nothing else mattered...not him, not Bucky's mother, it was just Bucky and only Bucky.

Once every piece of clothing was removed between the two of them. Steve and Bucky's soon found themselves under the sheets embraced against one another.

Bucky let his hands roam from Steve's powerful back to his bare bottom. Bucky couldn't help but cup Steve's butt making Steve gasp.

"Sorry I had to...I've really been wanting to do that for a while now" Bucky replied shyly

Steve smirked and kissed Bucky once more letting his hands trace all over Bucky's legs.

Bucky sighed in delight at the feeling of Steve's hand on his body once again. 

"Steve please...I can't wait anymore" Bucky whispered cupping Steve's face

With his eyes still locked on Bucky...Steve slowy pushed his way inside Bucky

Bucky arched his body against Steve and sighed softly. It was the kind of sigh you make when you found that missing piece of you that you had been trying to find your whole life.

Bucky knew he still didn't have all of his memory...but to him at this moment that didn't matter. He had Steve and to truthfully be honest he didn't care for anything else but this man who showed him all the love in the world and nothing less.

Steve began to thrust slowly into Bucky making his moan and writhe in passion beneath him

Bucky wrapped his legs around Steve's waist making Steve thrust even deeper into Bucky. They shared in another deep and powerful kiss.

"I love you Steve" Bucky whispered into Steve's ear

Steve kissed Bucky's cheek and began to thrust faster into Bucky making him cry out in passion.

"I love you too...I will never stop loving you" Steve whispered his breath becoming ragged

"Bucky...baby I'm so close" Steve said his face buried in Bucky's neck.

"Uhh me too baby...come for me Steve...please" Bucky whispered

Steve kept his face buried in Bucky's neck as he let out a groan. Just seeing Steve come undone Bucky soon followed after.

"Feel better" Steve whispered softly

Bucky smiled softly "Much better...I love you" 

"I love you too" Steve replied

**Author's Note:**

> Like Always *eye twitch* Be Gentle


End file.
